How Americans write dates: five other things the US should get rid of

AMERICA - the land of the free, home of the brave, and domain of quite a few idiots. Having finally booted out Donald Trump, here are five other dumb things the US needs to get rid of.

How to be a huge pain in the arse about getting fired, by Donald Trump

ANGRY and in denial about getting fired? You probably can’t let a few nukes fly like I’m going to, but try these tips.

New Zealand bastard thinks he's having a bad day

A LUCKY bastard living in a country free of coronavirus is claiming to have had a bad day, it has emerged.

Strictly round five, and other results Trump's legal team could overturn

DONALD Trump’s team of sub-Mafia lawyers is trying to overturn the election. Not going to happen. They should focus on these low-hanging fruits instead.  

Trump: He really was just a prick, wasn't he? 

PUNDITS have agreed that President Trump’s time in office and legacy will mainly being remembered for what an utter prick he was.

Trump to carry on doing exactly the same shit but not as president

DONALD Trump will spend the next four years holding rallies, being racist, sending mental tweets and golfing with the minor difference that he is no longer president.

Trump demands introduction of Super Double Caps Lock

DONALD Trump has demanded that a Super Double Caps Lock be created to better convey the force of his feelings on Twitter.

Before you go, can you explain what the f**k the deal is with your hair?

AMERICA has asked Trump if he can do it a favour before he pisses off and explain what the f**k is going on with his hair.

Trump is on glue, confirms White House

THE White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump is on glue.

Donald Trump's guide to accepting defeat with grace and dignity

LOSING gracefully is an art, as multiple bankrupt and divorcee Donald Trump knows only too well. Here he explains how to take it like a man.

Aw, come on, what the f**k now? A guide to what's next for the US

THE US election is still going on, long after we hoped to wake up with the whole awful pain in the arse over with. What happens now?

Kanye West sweeps all 50 US states

THE presidential race has suffered a major upset after rapper Kanye West won an electoral landslide.