GOVERNMENT officials searching for a distant, easily winnable war to be Theresa May’s Falklands have declared New Zealand to be the best prospect yet.
THE ISLE of Man is to be renamed Manorca should Brexit go ahead, it has been confirmed.
A MAN has been ejected from an Easyjet flight for being the wrong kind of pissed, it has been confirmed.
DONALD Trump has backed two Russian tourists who visited Salisbury last March to marvel at the city’s 13th Century cathedral.
RUSSIA has reminded Britain that threats to dismantle its spy network carry little weight given the fictional status of our best agent.
AN astronaut on the International Space Station forgot there was just space outside when he drilled a hole for a shelf, he has admitted.
A FAMILY who went on holiday to Italy had a dreadful time because they could not have a decent cup of tea, it has emerged.
THERESA May has vowed not to leave Africa until everyone has bought at least one British missile.
THE fake news media is busily reporting all kinds of lies and nonsense while ignoring the real story about how America is becoming great again, a source has claimed.
A WOMAN has told rescuers than floating in the sea for ten hours was more enjoyable than being on a cruise ship.
ALTHOUGH the Royal Family brings in a large number of tourists, they are the absolute worst, it has been confirmed.
PRESIDENT Trump is lavishing $150m on the Aberdeen golf course where he will live out his days in exile from the USA.