International

How to be an embarrassing little b*llend at work like a Brexit MEP

KEEN to be a rude sh*t and humiliate yourself at work, like the Brexit Party’s MEPs did by turning their backs on the EU anthem? Read on!

You'll never know how much we hate whales, says Japan

JAPAN has told the world that it will never understand how fiercely it detests whales or how joyous it feels to be slaughtering them again.

Cockroaches following Iran story with growing interest

THE NEXT dominant species on the planet is following the news from Iran with growing interest.

Imagine watching that interview, but the British f**kwit is your prime minister, say Americans

AMERICANS have asked Britons to watch the Morgan-Trump interview again, but this time imagine the British idiot is now leading their country.

All the palaces in the world aren't worth three days of this, says Queen

THE Queen is contemplating abdicating the throne if anyone ever again tries to make her spend three days with President Trump.

Bearskin guard cannot believe ludicrous shit Trump has on his head

A BEARSKIN guard outside Buckingham Palace has admitted struggling to keep a straight face at the preposterous thing on President Trump’s head.

Britain distracted from troubles by vibrating orange clown

BRITAIN is to spend the next week pleasantly distracted from its ongoing political crisis by watching a touring orange clown. 

How is Trump planning to be a dick in the UK?

IT’S rare for Donald Trump to go anywhere without being a dick in some way, so what has he got planned for his stay in Britain?

Legoland declares independence from UK

WITH a thriving economy backed by its own currency, Legoland is to leave Britain and apply for EU membership.

Colleague makes Notre Dame fire all about him

A BRITISH man who visited the Notre Dame cathedral in 2003 is telling everyone how badly the fire has affected him.

America to gift France hideous new plastic church

AMERICA has decided to revive its old friendship with France by giving it a garish plastic megachurch for the middle of its capital city.

Hunchback forced to move in with Phantom of the Opera

THE Hunchback of Notre Dame has been forced to move himself and his stuff in with the Phantom of the Opera for a few weeks.