International

Royal Family 'great for attracting incredibly annoying tourists'

ALTHOUGH the Royal Family brings in a large number of tourists, they are the absolute worst, it has been confirmed.

Trump spending $150m on Aberdeen golf course where he’ll someday be exiled

PRESIDENT Trump is lavishing $150m on the Aberdeen golf course where he will live out his days in exile from the USA.

Brexit goes on holiday

BREXIT is looking forward to flying out for 14 nights all-inclusive at a beach resort in Cuba, it has confirmed. 

'I'm not Trump,' says Trump

DONALD Trump has denied being this ‘President Trump’ who has apparently done something bad.

Trump nervously gives Putin list of people he'd like killed

PRESIDENT Trump has nervously given Putin a handwritten list of all the people he would like to have killed.

Would this be a bad time to say your new plan's bollocks? asks EU

THE EU has asked if this is a bad time to mention that May’s Chequers Brexit plan is bollocks that they reject completely. 

It is necessary to cage migrant children plus we like it, explains White House

DONALD Trump's team have explained that it is necessary put migrant children in cages and also they like doing it.

Melania to redecorate North Korea

MELANIA Trump is to put her interior design skills to good use by redecorating North Korea, it has been confirmed.

Trump and Kim bond over shared loathing of their subjects

THE Trump-Kim meeting mainly focused on what utter dicks the people they govern are.

Can your nukes reach Canada? Trump asks Kim

PRESIDENT Trump has asked Kim Jong-un to join his war against the dangerous, out-of-control liberal democracy of Canada. 

Please do Trump next, Irish women told

IRISH women have been asked if they could please do something about Trump next.

We'll definitely be needing a hard border now, confirms Arlene Foster

DUP leader Arlene Foster has told the government they will absolutely have to have a post-Brexit hard border after that.