International

Shirtless Spaniards take over Scarborough

HORDES of drunk, obnoxious Spanish tourists have arrived in Scarborough to enjoy the sunshine and take no interest in any other aspect of Britain.

EU threatens to send expatriate grandparents home

THE EU has threatened to send your elderly expat relatives home to live with you.

We wouldn't have made you speak German, say Germans

A NAZI occupation of Britain would not have included compulsory German lessons, Germans have confirmed.

Brussels Airport invests in massive 'f**k off, we're keeping the backstop' sign

BRUSSELS Airport is to save everyone's time by erecting a 40ft high illuminated sign reading ‘Fuck off, we’re keeping the backstop’. 

Macedonia changes name to Republic of North Funkytown

THE GREEK parliament has ratified a law allowing the neighbouring Republic of Macedonia to change its name to the Republic of North Funkytown.

Remainers really wishing Jean-Claude Juncker wasn't such a git

PEOPLE who want to remain in the EU really wish Jean-Claude Juncker was not so obviously unpleasant.

A guide to the Trump presidency of 2019

DONALD Trump will begin 2019 as president of the United States of America. But will he finish the year that way, and will the USA survive?

Europe reassures Britain it has been a laughing stock for decades

IN a move to allay fears that Brexit had damaged Britain's reputation, Europe confirmed the country has been a pathetic laughing stock for ages.

It should be me f**king you over, Trump tells Britain

PRESIDENT Trump has condemned the Brexit deal because it means Britain is being fucked over by the EU rather than the US.

Dubai still best holiday destination to get locked up for no f**king reason

DUBAI is still absolutely the best place to go if you want sun, luxury and to be imprisoned for life by a kangaroo court, say travel experts.

Gibraltar 'a real place'

GIBRALTAR is a real place and not a mythical island covered in monkeys and cheap fags, it has emerged.  

Trump to evade arrest by firing anyone who comes within ten feet

PRESIDENT Trump has confirmed that he will avoid criminal charges by simply firing anyone who attempts to arrest him.