International

We'll definitely be needing a hard border now, confirms Arlene Foster

DUP leader Arlene Foster has told the government they will absolutely have to have a post-Brexit hard border after that.

Be ready for a nasty shock, US and Britain tell Ireland

THE UK and US have wished Ireland good luck on its abortion referendum, but warned the country it may find out who it really is.

May, Merkel and Macron sign 'Ignore him, he's a twat' letter to Iran

THE leaders of France, Germany and the UK have signed an official letter to Iran advising it ignores Trump because he is a twat. 

Obama also had this thing about not jumping into a pit full of wolves, Trump told

DONALD Trump has been informed that Obama was very much against presidents jumping into pits full of wolves.

Leaders of North and South Korea exchange duty free

A HISTORIC moment has taken place as the leaders of North and South Korea exchanged duty free gifts in the demilitarised zone.  

Trump promises to visit Macron in 'whatever shithole country he comes from'

DONALD Trump has promised to visit Emmanuel Macron in 'whatever the hell shithole of a country he comes from', the White House has confirmed.

It's not the first time Trump has used 'mission accomplished' wrongly, confirm various women

DONALD Trump has been wrongly declaring 'mission accomplished' for decades, according to various women.

'Fourth time lucky!' says West

THE law of averages means attacking Syria will be a resounding success unlike Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya, Western leaders believe.  

Trump expels 60 Russian porn stars

DONALD Trump has expelled 60 top Russian adult movie stars from the US in response to the Stormy Daniels TV interview.

Blue passports to reek of garlic

BRITAIN’S post-Brexit blue passports are to be impregnated with the stench of garlic and snails by their French manufacturers, it has emerged.

David Davis reckons he might do Israel-Palestine next

DAVID Davis is so impressed with his own negotiating skills that he is considering a peace settlement between Israel and Palestine next.

May announces tough sanctions on Jeremy Corbyn

THE prime minister has announced strict new sanctions against Jeremy Corbyn.