PRESIDENT Trump has nervously given Putin a handwritten list of all the people he would like to have killed.
THE EU has asked if this is a bad time to mention that May’s Chequers Brexit plan is bollocks that they reject completely.
DONALD Trump's team have explained that it is necessary put migrant children in cages and also they like doing it.
MELANIA Trump is to put her interior design skills to good use by redecorating North Korea, it has been confirmed.
THE Trump-Kim meeting mainly focused on what utter dicks the people they govern are.
PRESIDENT Trump has asked Kim Jong-un to join his war against the dangerous, out-of-control liberal democracy of Canada.
IRISH women have been asked if they could please do something about Trump next.
DUP leader Arlene Foster has told the government they will absolutely have to have a post-Brexit hard border after that.
THE UK and US have wished Ireland good luck on its abortion referendum, but warned the country it may find out who it really is.
THE leaders of France, Germany and the UK have signed an official letter to Iran advising it ignores Trump because he is a twat.
DONALD Trump has been informed that Obama was very much against presidents jumping into pits full of wolves.
A HISTORIC moment has taken place as the leaders of North and South Korea exchanged duty free gifts in the demilitarised zone.