AMERICA became the world's largest council estate last night after the US government bought all the houses.
REPUBLICAN vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin last night wowed the party convention as she pledged to 'git me one uppity niggra'.
RUSSIA brushed aside the threat of EU sanctions last night, stressing it is a vast country, filled to bursting with absolutely everything it needs.
VICE presidential candidate Joe Biden was last night urged to reveal who his vice president will be when Barak Obama is assassinated by a racist psychopath.
THE US and Poland yesterday signed an historic agreement which will guarantee the total destruction of the eastern European state.
FRENCH president Nicolas Sarkozy is looking forward to a 'very exciting evening' as a reward for his role in ending the conflict in Georgia.
ALMOST 20 years after the end of the Cold War, it emerged last night that Russia really is evil and wants to kill everyone.
A MAN arrested by US police for the assassination of a lawnmower was a communist sympathiser who acted alone, the FBI said last night.
FORMER Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic has been forced to hand in his notice at the Belgrade video shop where has been working for the last 12 years.
IRAN was last night reassessing its decision to walk up to America and kick it squarely in the nuts.
A SHARP rise in the price of snails is forcing millions of hard-up Frenchmen to eat their own bogies.
THE Canadian Mounted Police has vowed to capture every one of the 12 million bees that escaped from an overturned truck earlier this week.