US Becomes World's Biggest Council Estate

AMERICA became the world's largest council estate last night after the US government bought all the houses.

Ama Gonna Git Me A Niggra, Says Palin

REPUBLICAN vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin last night wowed the party convention as she pledged to 'git me one uppity niggra'.

We're a gigantic country filled with oil, gas and wheat, Russia reminds EU

RUSSIA brushed aside the threat of EU sanctions last night, stressing it is a vast country, filled to bursting with absolutely everything it needs.

Biden Urged To Name Vice President

VICE presidential candidate Joe Biden was last night urged to reveal who his vice president will be when Barak Obama is assassinated by a racist psychopath.

US And Poland Sign Death To Poland Agreement

THE US and Poland yesterday signed an historic agreement which will guarantee the total destruction of the eastern European state. 

Sarkozy Getting It Tonight

FRENCH president Nicolas Sarkozy is looking forward to a 'very exciting evening' as a reward for his role in ending the conflict in Georgia.

Russia Evil After All

ALMOST 20 years after the end of the Cold War, it emerged last night that Russia really is evil and wants to kill everyone.

Lawnmower Assassin Was Communist Loner, Says FBI

A MAN arrested by US police for the assassination of a lawnmower was a communist sympathiser who acted alone, the FBI said last night. 

Karadzic Hands In Notice At Belgrade Video Shop

FORMER Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic has been forced to hand in his notice at the Belgrade video shop where has been working for the last 12 years.

Iran Kicks America In The Nuts

IRAN was last night reassessing its decision to walk up to America and kick it squarely in the nuts.

Snail Price Rise Forces French To Eat Own Bogies

A SHARP rise in the price of snails is forcing millions of hard-up Frenchmen to eat their own bogies. 

Mounties Vow To Capture Every Last Bee

THE Canadian Mounted Police has vowed to capture every one of the 12 million bees that escaped from an overturned truck earlier this week.