UN Split Over Outdoor Humping

A DAMAGING split emerged at the United Nations last night as western governments called for a new resolution guaranteeing the right to do it on a beach.

Obama Means To Make You His Beeatch, Palin Tells White Women

THE US presidential campaign turned negative last night as Republican Sarah Palin warned white women they will soon become Barak Obama's beeatches.

Obama Defends 'Creationist Psycho Bitch' Remark

DEMOCRATIC candidate Barak Obama last night claimed he was quoted out of context after describing Governor Sarah Palin as a 'creationist psycho bitch'.

US Becomes World's Biggest Council Estate

AMERICA became the world's largest council estate last night after the US government bought all the houses.

Ama Gonna Git Me A Niggra, Says Palin

REPUBLICAN vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin last night wowed the party convention as she pledged to 'git me one uppity niggra'.

We're a gigantic country filled with oil, gas and wheat, Russia reminds EU

RUSSIA brushed aside the threat of EU sanctions last night, stressing it is a vast country, filled to bursting with absolutely everything it needs.

Biden Urged To Name Vice President

VICE presidential candidate Joe Biden was last night urged to reveal who his vice president will be when Barak Obama is assassinated by a racist psychopath.

US And Poland Sign Death To Poland Agreement

THE US and Poland yesterday signed an historic agreement which will guarantee the total destruction of the eastern European state.