International

Trump does not know difference between international diplomacy and Wrestlemania

SENIOR White House staff are attempting to teach President Trump the difference between sensitive international diplomacy and trash-talking a Hell In A Cell opponent.

Sending a postcard the most pain-in-the-arse thing to do on holiday

MASTERING a foreign country's postal system to send two sentences to a relative ruins holidays, Britain has agreed.

Vain, petty nutjob finally meets his equal

NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong-un has finally met a leader as powerful, vain, petty and intellectually limited as he is, he has confirmed.

Holidaying Trump reveals true tentacled form

ALIEN creature Donald Trump has dropped its human being disguise while on holiday.

Trump leaves rambling, 32,000-word out-of-office message

PRESIDENT Trump has left a 32,000-word out-of-office email message, including discussion of the electoral college and his daughter’s business, for while he is away.

Brits abroad don’t need to point at menus because they’re having chips

WAITERS across Europe have agreed that there is no need for holidaying Britons to dumbly point at menus because they are always having chips.

The Mash guide to the lying bastards in the Trump administration

THEY’RE lying, they’re bad at it and one in three of them will serve prison time. But who are the people spinning the Trump administration’s web of fiction?

Right-wing populist revolutions f**king useless

THE defeat of healthcare repeal in the US and the UK’s pathetic Brexit negotiations, has convinced experts that right-wing populist revolutions are f**king useless.

A guide to American 'food' imports

IF Britain strikes a new trade deal with the US, what low-quality food will be on your menu?  

Boris Johnson sent as far away as possible for as long as possible

BORIS Johnson has been posted to New Zealand for as long as anyone can justify him being there.

People on low carb diets terrified of post-Brexit courgetti shortage

THE government has been urged to secure post-Brexit supplies of courgetti by people who think it is in any way a substitute for pasta.

Trump-Putin handshake summons Beelzebub as predicted

THE handshake between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin has summoned the Devil, as experts predicted.