International

How much money would it take for you to just f**k off? world asks Trump

THE global population has asked Donald Trump to name his price for f**king off and never coming back.

Davis trying to sneak old Ford Fiesta he can't shift into Brexit deal 


DAVID Davis has tried to sneak a number of things he has been trying to sell online into the Brexit deal, it has been confirmed.

I like people who shout ‘Hail Trump’, confirms Trump

DONALD Trump has clarified his position on violent white supremacists by confirming that he really likes being 'hailed'.

Trump does not know difference between international diplomacy and Wrestlemania

SENIOR White House staff are attempting to teach President Trump the difference between sensitive international diplomacy and trash-talking a Hell In A Cell opponent.

Sending a postcard the most pain-in-the-arse thing to do on holiday

MASTERING a foreign country's postal system to send two sentences to a relative ruins holidays, Britain has agreed.

Vain, petty nutjob finally meets his equal

NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong-un has finally met a leader as powerful, vain, petty and intellectually limited as he is, he has confirmed.

Holidaying Trump reveals true tentacled form

ALIEN creature Donald Trump has dropped its human being disguise while on holiday.

Trump leaves rambling, 32,000-word out-of-office message

PRESIDENT Trump has left a 32,000-word out-of-office email message, including discussion of the electoral college and his daughter’s business, for while he is away.

Brits abroad don’t need to point at menus because they’re having chips

WAITERS across Europe have agreed that there is no need for holidaying Britons to dumbly point at menus because they are always having chips.

The Mash guide to the lying bastards in the Trump administration

THEY’RE lying, they’re bad at it and one in three of them will serve prison time. But who are the people spinning the Trump administration’s web of fiction?

Right-wing populist revolutions f**king useless

THE defeat of healthcare repeal in the US and the UK’s pathetic Brexit negotiations, has convinced experts that right-wing populist revolutions are f**king useless.

A guide to American 'food' imports

IF Britain strikes a new trade deal with the US, what low-quality food will be on your menu?