EU CHIEF Jean-Claude Juncker has highlighted that Theresa May is flying to Brussels to rescue Brexit talks, not the other way around.
THE EU is ready to move on to the second of the excrement-based sandwiches it has prepared for the UK, it has emerged.
PRESIDENT Trump’s visit to the UK has been downgraded from being an offical guest of the Queen to sharing a bed at Nigel Farage’s place, it has been confirmed.
BREXIT minister David Davis will retire before 2019 because he fancies buying himself a nice place in the sun.
EVERY American should be given an automatic weapon, according to the country’s bastard pieces of shit.
THE Spanish government has announced further plans for totally ballsing up for no reason, it has been confirmed.
I HAVE come to you, America to tell the unpalatable truth - uncontrolled immigration has been a disaster for your country for almost 250 years.
THE NEW 280-character tweets will enable President Trump to discuss his political ideology and the economic ideas underpinning it at proper length.
BRITONS have responded to the worrying rise of the far-right in Germany with thoughtful, well-considered Hitler jokes, it has emerged.
KIM Jong-un and his North Korean regime have been completely disarmed by his friendly new nickname of ‘Rocket Man’, it has emerged.
BORIS Johnson has flown to the hurricane disaster zone to dangle from the last remaining electricity cable under British control in the Caribbean.
NIGEL Farage is to speak at the rally of a far-right German party, just like he dreamed of doing when he was a boy at school.