Owning a speedboat in Britain 'a bit shit'

OWNING a speedboat in the UK is nothing like being in Miami Vice or indeed any fun whatsoever, a man has revealed.  

Five guilt-free holiday destinations for annoying middle class people to show off about

DO you want to go on a sickeningly expensive holiday whilst also making a big deal about the fact that you’re not flying there? Here are some excellent destinations.

Mummy blogger struggling to drink wine and swear at her kids every day

A MUMMY blogger has revealed she is struggling to live up to the unrealistic stereotype of swilling wine and screaming at her kids every day.

Woman briefly wonders if cocaine is vegan

A WOMAN pursuing an ethical lifestyle has briefly wondered if cocaine is vegan.

42-year-old man wrongly thinks he can still have 'massive weekends'

A MAN is desperately clinging to the belief that he enjoys spending the whole weekend binge drinking.

Pub trivia team realise they could have had happy lives

A PUB quiz team has realised they could have had normal, successful lives if they had not immersed themselves in pointless trivia.

How are you pretending it's OK not to have a pension?

ARE you secretly shitting yourself about not having a pension but want to pretend it’s fine? Here are some great ways to delude yourself.

Alkaline water better than alcohol for making people talk bollocks

THE new health trend of drinking alkaline enhanced water has proven as effective as alcohol at making people talk a lot of shit.

Would your partner rather go out with their phone than you?

EVERYONE loves their smartphone, but are you concerned your partner would rather have a relationship with it than you? Take our quiz and find out.

Boy racer on 814th consecutive night of driving around pointlessly

A YOUNG driver has spent every night for well over two years driving around aimlessly in his crappy car.

Man still longing to drive car he drew when he was eight

A MAN has admitted he secretly wishes he could drive the outlandish car he drew when he was eight.

I was a better person before I lost my hair, claims man

A MAN has explained to colleagues that he is only a bitter, vengeful, petty tyrant because he went bald aged 30.