Man with neck beard wondering what the hell he was thinking

A MAN is having a major rethink of his neck beard after realising he has no idea why he grew it.

'You scrub up nicely' not a compliment, idiots told

‘YOU scrub up nicely’ actually means ‘normally you look pretty shit’, recipients of the compliment feel.

Woman who lives for weekend has another shit weekend

A WOMAN who lives for the weekend has had yet another dreadful weekend, she has admitted.

Git 'pops round' without texting first

A WOMAN who visits with no prior warning is a pain in the arse, her friends have confirmed.

Absolute arse wants you to guess how much everything in his house cost

A WEALTHY arsehole likes to make visitors guess the cost of his extremely over-priced belongings.

Woman using mindfulness time to plot revenge

A WOMAN is getting the most out of her daily mindfulness session by planning how to fuck up people who have wronged her.

Middle class family go back to nature by 'camping' in ensuite yurt

A MIDDLE class family from London has unveiled plans to go back to basics by ‘camping’ in a yurt that has a proper toilet, a power shower and a free-standing bath.

Man into chivalry reminded he's not a f**king knight

A MAN who insists on opening doors and pulling out chairs for ‘ladies’ is not a Knight of the Round Table and actually a bit creepy.