WITH illegal raves making a comeback, middle-aged dads can earn kudos from their teenage kids by claiming they were at the heart of the 90s dance scene.
FANCY a weekend jaunt where you won’t have to sit near a human turd or a mountain of empty two-litre cider bottles? Try these spots.
A FATHER-OF-TWO is becoming increasingly interested in rap music despite opposition from all members of his household.
NORTHERNERS are enjoying the scenes at Bournemouth beach that prove once and for all that Southerners are just scum with fancy accents.
A SELF-SATISFIED jogger has just smashed their personal best at being an all-round insufferable bastard, it has emerged.
AN overweight man has been spotted showing off his curvaceous assets in the park, it has emerged.
IF you spend even a small amount of time online, you’ll find people throwing around bum-clenchingly lame insults they think are riotously funny. Here are the worst.
COPING fine with 2020? It’s just that the kitchen lightbulb blowing has caused you to clench your fists and scream ‘f**k the world’?
THE world is full of needlessly cheerful dickheads making provably false statements that piss everyone off. But which one are you?
A FATHER of young children has said what he would really like for Father’s Day is some f**king peace in an empty house.
A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are amazed at how much extra money they have after stopping meals out, theatre trips and citybreaks while still being paid high salaries in stable jobs.
A boring-as-f**k birthday message to my two-year-old who isn't on social media so will never read this
HAPPY birthday to my darling boy! You won’t actually see this because you can’t read and aren’t on social media on account of being a toddler.