Lifestyle

Six Christmas gifts for the gammon in your life

WONDERING what to get that relative who’s a permanently angry fanatical Brexiter? Look no further – here’s the perfect selection!

Uruguay easier to get to than other side of London

A LONDONER has explained to friends that it would be easier to attend a party in South America than theirs on the other side of London.

How to let yourself go without anyone noticing

IT’S is the perfect time to let yourself go. But how can you do it without too many people noticing? Here’s our guide.

Have you been burgled or have you just hosted a 'play date'?

IF your home has been turned over it could be a burglary or you may have hosted a 'play date' for four-year-olds. Take our test and find out.

How working-class are your Christmas decorations?

THERE’S a fine line between decorating your home tastefully for the festive season and outing yourself as a tasteless pleb. Our guide tells you what is acceptable.

Tax on second Christmas trees proposed

A CROSS-PARTY working group has proposed a tax on households that have more than one Christmas tree.

The middle-class guide to choosing a pet

GUINEA pigs and goldfish too common for your darling little prodigies? Try these pretentious pets instead.

Falling asleep on sofa linked to being a great lover

PEOPLE who fall asleep on the sofa with the TV are likely to be exceptional lovers, research has found.

Are you busy all the time but achieving f*ck all?

ARE you always busy and stressed out but have f*ck all to show for it? Take our test and find out what’s wrong with your crummy life.

Man covers every inch of toilet seat with p*ss

A MAN keeps managing to cover every single inch of the loo seat with p*ss, despite completing his potty training more than 39 years ago.

Biggest cash crop now glamping

BRITAIN'S main agricultural crop is now yurts, tipis, gypsy caravans and shepherd’s huts.

We never said we liked beards, say women

WOMEN have pointed out that they never claimed to like beards and do not understand why every man now has one.