Lifestyle

The bellend's guide to ruining conversations

ARE you the sort of twat who likes to hijack conversations or stop other people joining in? Here are some tips for ruining any pleasant chat.

Judgmental dads secretly jealous of lazy arsehole dad

A GROUP of committed fathers who love to judge rival parents are all privately jealous of the father who does absolutely nothing, they have admitted.

Things described as 'rustic' generally shit

THINGS that are old, tatty or just total crap are being made to sound desirable by describing them as ‘rustic’.

It's not 'treating yourself' if you do it all the time, say experts

CONSTANTLY treating yourself is not actually treating yourself, it is just what you do, scientists have confirmed.

Is everything terrible or are you just a massive f**king drama queen?

ARE the events of your life an unending nightmare or are you just a deeply annoying drama queen? Take our quiz and find out!

The Waitrose shopper's guide to poor people's supermarkets

BUDGET supermarkets offer wonderful bargains, but how can a refined Waitrose shopper like you survive the whole ghastly experience? Read our guide.

Bridesmaid pushing bride to be a nightmare so it'll go viral

A BRIDESMAID is subtly pushing her friend to make more and more unreasonable wedding demands so her post about them will go viral.

Mashing stuff down plughole 'probably fine', say experts

FORCING things down the plughole is unlikely to have bad consequences, according to boffins who cannot be arsed to walk to the bin.

Five things to think about doing this weekend before sitting on your arse in pyjamas all day

YOU'RE definitely going to make the most of your weekend. Or you're going to pretend you are. Here are five excellent things to do this weekend that you won't.

What sort of car twat are you?

WITH so many makes and models there are lots of ways to be a car-owning twat. But what sort of vehicular twattery is right for you? Read our guide.

Hairdresser actually f**king listens and cuts hair the way they were f**king told

A HAIRDRESSER has cut a customer's hair the way they were asked to, it has been confirmed.

Kids vote shoe shopping best time to be proper little bastards

SHOPPING for shoes is the best time to be a complete and utter dick, children have decided.