Lifestyle

Git 'pops round' without texting first

A WOMAN who visits with no prior warning is a pain in the arse, her friends have confirmed.

Absolute arse wants you to guess how much everything in his house cost

A WEALTHY arsehole likes to make visitors guess the cost of his extremely over-priced belongings.

Woman using mindfulness time to plot revenge

A WOMAN is getting the most out of her daily mindfulness session by planning how to fuck up people who have wronged her.

Middle class family go back to nature by 'camping' in ensuite yurt

A MIDDLE class family from London has unveiled plans to go back to basics by ‘camping’ in a yurt that has a proper toilet, a power shower and a free-standing bath.

Man into chivalry reminded he's not a f**king knight

A MAN who insists on opening doors and pulling out chairs for ‘ladies’ is not a Knight of the Round Table and actually a bit creepy.  

I'm spending the best-looking years of my life covered in a ridiculous beard

For some reason I have made the decision to spend these years – my entire 20s – with my face hidden behind a massive, stupid, fucking beard.

Couple's holiday photos are a filthy rotten lie

A COUPLE who posted hundreds of idyllic holiday photos on Facebook actually had a horrific week of blazing rows and food poisoning.  

Man thinks you're interested in how much water he drinks

A MAN believes the quantity of water he drinks is really important to other people.      

Beautiful pair of high heels to be stuffed in handbag by 8.30pm 

A STUNNING pair of designer heels will be too unbearable to wear an hour into a night out, their owner has confirmed.

Dad takes everything out of shed and puts it back in again

A FATHER-OF-TWO removed every item in his shed then put them back again for some reason, it has emerged.  

Five totally unrealistic career paths to waste your life on

WHY waste your life in a boring office job when you can waste your life chasing a much more exciting job you’ll never actually get to do?  

The manipulative bastard's guide to putting people on the spot

ARE you about to ask someone for a favour, but are afraid they’ll say no? Here’s how to catch them off guard and make them do what you want.