Middle-class families panic-buying board games

MIDDLE-CLASS families have cleared the shelves of cerebral board games as the coronavirus panic continues.

Woman spends weekend on phone seeing what other people are doing

A WOMAN is spending the whole weekend watching what friends and acquaintances are doing this weekend, via her phone.

Cat's entire life is 'me time'

A CAT has perfected the art of self-care by devoting every second of her energies and time towards herself.

The parents' guide to treating pubs like a f**king soft play area

PUBS are a great place to for adults to relax but they also work as soft play areas for parents who don’t give a sh*t about other drinkers. Here’s how...

Middle aged man realises every item of clothing he's wearing was a gift

A MAN getting ready for a night out was shocked to notice that every part of his outfit was bought for him by someone else.

Middle aged woman preparing for big night out by double-dropping Imodium

A WOMAN’S preparations for a night on the town have changed drastically in the last two decades, she has revealed.

Man wearing same clothes since 2003 hailed as pioneer of sustainable fashion

A 35-YEAR-OLD man still wearing the same polo shirts he wore at university has been named as an icon of sustainable fashion.

Wearing sparkly trainers key sign that you're a kn*bhead

RESEARCHERS have found that adults wearing metallic or bejewelled trainers are 12 times more likely to be total cocks.

How to get the Dominic Cummings look

WANT to get ahead in life? Model yourself on chief Downing Street adviser and style icon Dominic Cummings. Here’s how to nail the look.

Couple post in-the-moment selfie that only took 89 attempts to get right

AN ADORABLE couple have posted a gorgeous, in-the-moment selfie that only took 89 attempts to get.

'Posing up a storm' and other expressions for twats

ARE you keen to look like a massive twat for some reason? Simply use these incredibly irksome contemporary phrases in everyday life.

You must never discover my truly disgusting habits, says man who lives alone

A BACHELOR who lives alone in a one-bedroom flat would prefer people did not know the full sordid details of his domestic life.