Lifestyle

Three quarter length trouser wearers wish their shins weren't exposed

PEOPLE who wear three quarter length trousers admit it would be better if their shins were not exposed all the time.

Woman manages to bake bread without posting about it on social media

A WOMAN has somehow baked a loaf of bread without banging on about it all over the internet.

Man yet to own a car his dad respects

A MAN in his mid-30s has yet to impress his father with the car he drives, he has admitted.

Your guide to being a coronavirus twat at the seaside

IT’S sunny, so ignore coronavirus completely and get yourself down to the nearest crowded seaside town. Here’s how to be as irresponsible as possible.

Which of your disgusting habits are your flatmates texting their friends about?

HAVE you got weird, disgusting habits and share a flat? Simply add one point for each of these activities and find out if other people are slagging you off to their mates. 

Kids wait in car with pop and crisps while parents get pissed in mate's garden

CHILDREN have been ordered to wait in the car with fizzy drinks and crisps so that barbecues do not exceed the six person limit.

The smug bastard's guide to sending greetings cards

DO you make friends and family feel guilty by always sending birthday and thank you cards? Try being even more irritating.

Barbecuing with the relatives and the other horrors available from today

AS OF this morning, residents of England can go for that barbecue in Uncle Brian’s garden they’ve been thirsting for. What other horrific activities can we no longer avoid?

What to talk about now you can't go on a lavishly expensive holiday this year

DO you usually base 90 per cent of your conversations around your ludicrously expensive holiday plans? Here’s what to show off about in 2020 instead.

Couple excited to invite friends round for a drink and a piss in their garden

A COUPLE are looking forward to lockdown easing enough to have friends over for a drink in their garden and a wee behind the shed.

Men happy to avoid talking to barbers

MEN are continuing to enjoy not having to make small talk with their barbers on a monthly basis.

Man washing car a disturbing number of times

A MAN’S neighbour has been washing his Ford Galaxy a frankly distressing amount of times, it has emerged.