The middle-class family's guide to a caravan holiday

JUST because you can’t get to Crete this year doesn’t mean that you can’t have a cut-above holiday. Here's how to survive a week in a caravan designed for the working classes:

Man heroically assembles flatpack using instructions

A MAN has somehow managed to construct a small piece of flatpack furniture using the instructions that came with it.

'It is what it is' and other f**king annoying meaningless phrases

STUMPED for something worthwhile to say but still want to contribute to a conversation? Here are some totally useless and highly annoying phrases to consider.

Man wearing vest trying to be cool about nude upper arms

A MAN wearing a vest is trying not to feel self-conscious about his upper-arm nudity.

Gap year wanker embarks on journey of self-discovery to Plymouth

A GAP-YEAR twat has set out on a year-long journey of self-discovery all the way from Plymouth to Bournemouth, he has confirmed.

How to make your quarantine just as good as your holiday

IF you've been on a break outside the UK, you may now have to take a second, enforced holiday inside your own house. Here's how to make sure it's just as good as two weeks in Benidorm.

Woman who wore different tops all week to even up tan with gaffer tape

A WOMAN with clashing tan lines after wearing different tops all week is evening up her skin with strategically-placed gaffer tape.

Cars driving painfully slowly behind to admire his skills, cyclist believes

A CYCLIST believes he is the envy of drivers who cannot stop looking at him after seeing the long snake of traffic that has formed behind his bicycle.

Staycationers sending pathetic little postcards

STAYCATIONERS are sending pathetic little postcards to family from places like Weston-super-Mare with pitiable pictures of Britain on the front

Woman who used her savings to buy a house thinks she's poor now

A WOMAN who used her immense savings to purchase a house is now under the impression that she is living in poverty.

Six reasons why sharing a bed is totally mental

RESEARCH has shown that sleeping apart can improve relationships, but what’s baffling is why anyone thought it was a good idea in the first place.

The middle-class guide to dogging

PUBLIC sex with strangers is nothing to be ashamed of, but class differences can still make the atmosphere in the car park rather awkward.