Lifestyle

Man too macho to drive wife's car

A MAN has refused to compromise his masculinity by driving his wife’s Fiat 500, he has confirmed.

Grown man still likes big trucks

A FULLY-GROWN man still loves big trucks and is having a difficult time hiding it.

Revealed: The worst places to live in England, excluding London obviously

A SURVEY has revealed the worst places to live in England, with London excluded from the results because otherwise it would be nothing but.

Middle class families unveil dreadful New Year's resolutions

BRITAIN’S middle class families are telling everyone about their smug and aspirational New Year’s resolutions.

Woman who hates kids pretending she won't have any for environmental reasons

A 29-YEAR-OLD woman who loathes children insists she is not going to have any purely to protect the environment.

Middle class family gagging to dig out wooden sleigh

A BOURGEOIS family is desperate for it to start snowing so they can show off their vintage wooden sleigh.

Couple genuinely serious about going to midnight mass

A SEEMINGLY normal couple have confirmed they are actually going to midnight mass.

Four gifts that say 'I don't give a sh*t'

ARE you planning to give presents that clearly required no thought or effort to people you don’t really care about?

Middle-class family going to Bali for Christmas admit it'll still be shite

A FAMILY heading to Bali for Christmas have admitted that they will still have a horrible time resenting each other despite the sun.

It's time to stop d*cking about with your ankles out now, hipsters told

HIPSTERS who are still wearing shoes without socks have been told to pack it in because it is winter and they look like twats.

Deluded friends still believe they can meet before Christmas

A GROUP of deluded halfwits still believes, with a week to go until Christmas Day, that they will all find time to meet beforehand.

Council house covered in Christmas lights daring you to say something

A COUNCIL house absolutely festooned in flashing Christmas decorations is goading passers-by into voicing prejudiced thoughts.