A WOMAN who told friends organising her hen do that she did not want anything involving penis straws, sashes or getting absolutely sh*tfaced is regretting her actions.
A MAN is worried he will probably die without ever having had a proper fist fight.
DO you have an intellectually challenged friend or relative who absolutely will not give up their belief that carrots give you night vision? Here is some other rubbish to ignore.
EVEN the most middle class families sometimes have no choice but to visit a horrendous British seaside town. Here’s how to survive the experience.
A COUPLE with young children are comforting themselves that one day their kids will not even want to be in the same room as them.
HAVING a garden party? Keen on maximising aggravation to your neighbours? Here’s how.
HAVE you run out of time to get slim for summer? Here are some weight-loss tips that are even more unhinged than the usual nonsense.
A COUPLE looking through a book of baby names have complained that it includes unacceptable choices like Titty, Krane, Marlboro and McGeorge.
PARENTS of a newborn have found they are still able to pursue their passions at 3am seated on the toilet.
A TOTAL ars*hole couple demand that everyone remove their shoes before entering their home.
A DUCK that is only eating sourdough bread has turned into a right bellend, it has been confirmed.
A COUPLE who tried to make a 'fast, easy mid-week supper recipe' from the Guardian recipe are still cooking it almost eight days later.