BRITONS born between 1984 and 2000 drink less alcohol than previous generations because it costs more than a fiver to get shitfaced, research has found.
IN a major concession, women have finally agreed to tell men what a 'pumpkin spice latte' actually is.
A COUPLE in a restaurant were betrayed by a waiter who was just as warm and friendly to some other people, it has emerged.
ALL the participants in a yoga class are casually pretending that everyone is not constantly breaking wind, it has emerged.
A MAN who spends his weekends dressing up as some sort of sci-fi chipmunk creature has defended the practice.
A WOMAN giving herself a motivational pep talk in the mirror has accidentally summoned Morrissey.
GLUTEN-free brownies contain the same ingredients as a bag of old, dried up compost from B&Q, it has been confirmed.
A MAN who drives a BMW is ‘sort of an okay person, once you get to know him’, it has been claimed by two people.
A 27-year-old man has unveiled a shopping basket described by witnesses as an ‘epic tragedy’.
A MAN has been declared a prick after sending the waiter away when everyone else was clearly ready to order.
A FAMILY who thought it would be fun to stay home instead of going away on holiday has admitted it was a shit idea.
A VEGETARIAN has been worrying about whether her friends have made room on their BBQ for her ego.