Lifestyle

How working-class are your Christmas decorations?

THERE’S a fine line between decorating your home tastefully for the festive season and outing yourself as a tasteless pleb. Our guide tells you what is acceptable.

Tax on second Christmas trees proposed

A CROSS-PARTY working group has proposed a tax on households that have more than one Christmas tree.

The middle-class guide to choosing a pet

GUINEA pigs and goldfish too common for your darling little prodigies? Try these pretentious pets instead.

Falling asleep on sofa linked to being a great lover

PEOPLE who fall asleep on the sofa with the TV are likely to be exceptional lovers, research has found.

Are you busy all the time but achieving f*ck all?

ARE you always busy and stressed out but have f*ck all to show for it? Take our test and find out what’s wrong with your crummy life.

Man covers every inch of toilet seat with p*ss

A MAN keeps managing to cover every single inch of the loo seat with p*ss, despite completing his potty training more than 39 years ago.

Biggest cash crop now glamping

BRITAIN'S main agricultural crop is now yurts, tipis, gypsy caravans and shepherd’s huts.

We never said we liked beards, say women

WOMEN have pointed out that they never claimed to like beards and do not understand why every man now has one.

Only freaks put mugs upside down in cupboard

THE only people who store mugs in cupboards top-down are total freaks, it has been confirmed.

Shivering wreck of a man too hard to use umbrella

A MAN would rather be a shivering mess on the verge of pneumonia than use an umbrella and look soft.

Progressive stag party goes to strip club for research

A PROGRESSIVE bachelor party went to a strip club to get a better understanding of toxic masculinity, they have revealed.

Mother realises same dirty old soft toy has been coming home from school for 13 years

A MOTHER-OF-THREE has realised that a stuffed toy fox sent home by school has been visiting her house since 2006.