LOOKING for a new place? Can’t afford blissful isolation? Then you’ll be recoiling in horror at what other people call home.
ARE you prepared to spend time and money doing stupid bullsh*t so strangers will click Like and Follow?
A MARRIED couple in their thirties have written their dog’s name in childlike writing in a friend’s birthday card and drawn a paw print next to it.
A MAN from London fainted after discovering how much northerners pay in rent each month.
YOU’RE skint again and the only people you can turn to are your parents. What will Mum and Dad want in return for all that cash, and would it be better to just live in a skip instead?
A MAN who made a string of rash New Year’s resolutions has happily sunk back into his comfort zone.
A WOMAN who has recently got a dramatic new haircut was disappointed to find she is still the same dreary, uninspiring person.
FESTERING in a sweaty towelling gown all day is only acceptable if you have paid to do it at a luxury spa.
DO your housemates annoy the hell out of you? They may well have some or all of these supremely annoying habits.
A WOMAN’S bra is excited to finally be getting a f**king good wash.
TWO best mates living in London have cemented their friendship by meeting up after not seeing each other for two years.
A MOTHER who accidentally walked in on her son reading fantasy gaming magazine White Dwarf wishes he had been masturbating instead.