Lifestyle

The six properties you'll be horrified by when looking for a houseshare

LOOKING for a new place? Can’t afford blissful isolation? Then you’ll be recoiling in horror at what other people call home.

Are you enough of a twat to become Instagram famous?

ARE you prepared to spend time and money doing stupid bullsh*t so strangers will click Like and Follow?

Fully-grown adults sign birthday card from dog

A MARRIED couple in their thirties have written their dog’s name in childlike writing in a friend’s birthday card and drawn a paw print next to it.

Londoner faints after seeing what northern renters get for their money

A MAN from London fainted after discovering how much northerners pay in rent each month.

Awful things you'll have to do if you want money from your parents again

YOU’RE skint again and the only people you can turn to are your parents. What will Mum and Dad want in return for all that cash, and would it be better to just live in a skip instead?

Lazy bastard rediscovers comfort zone

A MAN who made a string of rash New Year’s resolutions has happily sunk back into his comfort zone.

Woman's bold new haircut fails to deliver bold new personality

A WOMAN who has recently got a dramatic new haircut was disappointed to find she is still the same dreary, uninspiring person.

Spending day in dressing gown fine if you've paid £280 to be at a spa

FESTERING in a sweaty towelling gown all day is only acceptable if you have paid to do it at a luxury spa.

Six habits of your f**king annoying housemates

DO your housemates annoy the hell out of you? They may well have some or all of these supremely annoying habits. 

Bra enjoying its annual trip to the washing machine

A WOMAN’S bra is excited to finally be getting a f**king good wash. 

London best friends meet up every two years

TWO best mates living in London have cemented their friendship by meeting up after not seeing each other for two years.

Mum who found teenage son reading White Dwarf magazine wishes he'd been w*nking

A MOTHER who accidentally walked in on her son reading fantasy gaming magazine White Dwarf wishes he had been masturbating instead.