Lifestyle

Inside the mind of a man still wearing shorts in November

AS winter sets in, there are always one or two men around wearing shorts. I am one of them and I'm here to tell you why, in an effort to stop you presuming I'm just a bellend.

Britain reaches stage where it's just wearing a f**king duvet

THE UK is only days into a second lockdown and has already reached the point where it is just walking around wearing a f**king duvet.

What kind of winter hat wanker are you?

ARE you a fun-loving bobble-hat person or do you prefer to look like someone who murders deer in the woods? Find out what your winter hat says about you.

Man only became a father so he could play with Lego

A FATHER-OF-TWO has admitted he only had children so he could play with Lego as an adult.

Twat can't go five minutes without mentioning how close we are to Christmas

A WANKER with nothing better to do is unable not to inform you how many days there are left until 25th December.

The comfortably-off guide to doing the second lockdown better than everyone else

IS government plunging your area unfairly into lockdown even though the virus can’t spread between detached houses? Follow these pointers to sail through it.

Middle class couple want to show you their artisan soap

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are desperate to have friends round to show off the expensive and tasteful artisan soap they have in their bathroom.

You're going to live with nutjobs: the 30-something's guide to house shares

THINKING of moving into a house share because you can’t afford to live by yourself? Here’s the nightmarish living arrangement you’ve got to look forward to.

The middle class guide to a working class Halloween

YOUR Halloween celebrations speak volumes about your social class. Here middle class mum Ellie Shaw tells you how to avoid looking terribly common.

Five shit things you didn’t expect would happen in your 40s

DID you stupidly think you’d be happy and sorted by the time you got to middle age? Here are some unpleasant realities you weren’t expecting.

Smug couple with smug baby live in smug house with smug garden

AN unbearably smug couple have imbued smugness into every aspect of their lives, it has emerged.

Five batshit things to wake up in the night and worry about

SLEEPING a bit too well at the moment? Here are five mad and pointless questions that are sure to keep you up all night.