Lifestyle

How to get disproportionately angry about a tiny thing going wrong in your house

COPING fine with 2020? It’s just that the kitchen lightbulb blowing has caused you to clench your fists and scream ‘f**k the world’?

What kind of cheerful dickhead are you?

THE world is full of needlessly cheerful dickheads making provably false statements that piss everyone off. But which one are you?

I'd like you all to f**k off, says dad when asked what he wants for Father's day

A FATHER of young children has said what he would really like for Father’s Day is some f**king peace in an empty house.

Couple can't believe how much money they've saved by being middle class during lockdown

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are amazed at how much extra money they have after stopping meals out, theatre trips and citybreaks while still being paid high salaries in stable jobs.

A boring-as-f**k birthday message to my two-year-old who isn't on social media so will never read this

HAPPY birthday to my darling boy!  You won’t actually see this because you can’t read and aren’t on social media on account of being a toddler.

Five ways to look less like a twat on your e-scooter

MANY people are turning to e-scooters as an alternative mode of transport, with the only downside that they look like stupid twats who get in everyone's way. Here are five ways to look less idiotic on your overpriced adult toy-mobile.

Three quarter length trouser wearers wish their shins weren't exposed

PEOPLE who wear three quarter length trousers admit it would be better if their shins were not exposed all the time.

Woman manages to bake bread without posting about it on social media

A WOMAN has somehow baked a loaf of bread without banging on about it all over the internet.

Man yet to own a car his dad respects

A MAN in his mid-30s has yet to impress his father with the car he drives, he has admitted.

Your guide to being a coronavirus twat at the seaside

IT’S sunny, so ignore coronavirus completely and get yourself down to the nearest crowded seaside town. Here’s how to be as irresponsible as possible.

Which of your disgusting habits are your flatmates texting their friends about?

HAVE you got weird, disgusting habits and share a flat? Simply add one point for each of these activities and find out if other people are slagging you off to their mates. 

Kids wait in car with pop and crisps while parents get pissed in mate's garden

CHILDREN have been ordered to wait in the car with fizzy drinks and crisps so that barbecues do not exceed the six person limit.