Lifestyle

Woman tragically unaware she's being judged

A WOMAN on the receiving end of a barbed, underhand comment has remained tragically unaware that she is being judged.

Thank f**k for that, say parents as children's parties are banned by law

PARENTS have thanked f*ck after new Covid rules make it illegal for 15 hyperactive kids to smash up their house.

Five people having more sex than you this weekend

THE weekend is the perfect time to unwind by banging relentlessly, but you and your partner will fall asleep on the sofa while others are having the best sex of their lives. Who are they?

Parents spend shitloads on trampoline so kids can play on it for two f**king days

A COUPLE spent 200 quid on a trampoline only for their kids to get bored of it after two f**king days.   

'Who on earth has six mates?' man wonders

A MAN who only has four friends is wondering what sort of person would be so popular that limiting gatherings to six people would be a problem.

How to enjoy Freshers' Week from your childhood bedroom: a guide for students

JUST because universities are moving online doesn’t mean you can’t have a debauched Freshers’ Week. Here’s how to kick off your university experience from your childhood bedroom at your parents' house.

Six types of people you can't stand but end up socialising with anyway

THERE are new rules for socialising, but sadly not for avoiding people you hate but find yourself stuck in the pub with anyway. Here are the worst.

'It's my birthday week' says woman who needs to grow the f**k up

A SELFISH brat of a woman has announced that she expects her birthday celebrations to last an entire bloody week.

The totally unnecessary baby stuff you'll be conned into buying

ANXIOUS first-time parent? Here’s five essential bits of newborn kit from businesses who capitalising on your gullibility.

Wear a jumper, and other really f**king obvious autumn wardrobe ideas

THE leaves are turning, the nights are drawing in, it will soon be f**king freezing. Try these excruciatingly obvious ways of adapting your wardrobe.

Retired parents begin epic quest to buy a new frying pan

A WOMAN’S elderly parents have set out on a quest to replace a non-stick frying pan which could take weeks or even years.

The middle class guide to sex caves

FORGET about the loft conversion - sex caves are the new must-have middle-class interior space. Here’s how to make sure yours is better than everyone else’s: