Men happy to avoid talking to barbers

MEN are continuing to enjoy not having to make small talk with their barbers on a monthly basis.

Man washing car a disturbing number of times

A MAN’S neighbour has been washing his Ford Galaxy a frankly distressing amount of times, it has emerged.

Your guide to making eye contact during coronavirus

EYE contact is hard to get right at the best of times, but with people wearing masks it’s trickier than ever. Here’s how to not look creepy or mental.

Sex shops preparing for rise in postman-related fetish wear

SEX shops are stocking up on postman-themed costumes due to people developing a kink for them during lockdown.

Woman builds second home out of Amazon packaging

A WOMAN has ordered so much stuff from Amazon she has been able to build a second home out of all the packaging.

How to be a pain in the arse in shared gardens during lockdown

ARE you using a communal garden during lockdown? Here’s how to behave as if it belongs to you personally and f**k everyone else.

How are you interpreting rules for your own benefit?

RULES needn’t be a hassle if, like Dominic Cummings, you use your ingenuity. Here’s how to interpret them in a way that’s right for you.

How have you changed for the worse during the lockdown?

THESE long weeks of house arrest have turned most of us into an even worse version of ourselves. In what ways have you become more of an arsehole than you already were?

Birdsong, embroidery and other simple joys that are shit compared to the pub

BRITONS are returning to wholesome pursuits such as listening to owls hoot and sewing quilts with the enthusiasm of people who have given up on the idea of fun.

Mum realises she has become unpaid PA to eight-year-old child

A MUM has realised that she has somehow become a PA to her eight-year-old daughter during lockdown.

Coronavirus sick of London already

THE coronavirus has confirmed that three months in London is more than enough and it is moving somewhere else for a better quality of life.

Family visiting seaside remember why they stopped going

A FAMILY that decided to go to the seaside for the first time in years were quickly reminded that Britain's coastal towns are dilapidated shitholes.