THE parents of a musically ungifted child have discovered that a violin can sound just as bad as a recorder.
A COUPLE who thought their middle-class dream was complete when they bought an Aga have instead ended up with burnt meals and a massive gas bill.
DO you constantly try to impress people with your frankly unspectacular achievements? Here’s how to go about it.
A MAN whose wife went out from 7pm to 12.30am last weekend has spent more than a week referring to himself as a ‘single parent’.
THE UK’s female pubic regions are looking forward to going the full Chewbacca for the coming winter months, their owners have confirmed.
A PAIR of selfish pricks have brought their children to central London, ruining it for everyone.
A TOURIST in search of Leicester Square assumed he was in some other grotty part of the capital when in fact he was in the middle of it.
A DRESS labelled ‘dry clean only’ has been given its fourth Febreze before being worn for another night out.
A MOTHER who has spent years putting things on the stairs for her family to take up with them cannot stop even though it has never once happened in 15 years.
A YOUNG man currently living a happy life is blissfully unaware that his next life will be as a member of the subspecies Capra aegagrus hircus.
A COUPLE who are absolutely shattered after having their first child nonetheless found time and energy to post a 188-photo birth album online.
EXAGGERATING your problems to get attention has finally been given a trendy name, ‘sadfishing’. Here’s how to get the most out of this worthwhile activity.