Mums ever so grateful to Daily Mail for parenting tips

MOTHERS across Britain have thanked the Daily Mail for always pointing out that they are doing every single fucking thing wrong. 

Whether working full-time, staying at home with their kids, single, married, young, old or gay, the newspaper is always there, reminding them that any perceived failings in their children are entirely their fault.

Mother-of-three Emma Bradford said: “I work part-time, which means I’m guilty of both abandoning my children like a feminazi and smothering them like a helicopter parent.

“Obviously I don’t want my children to be obese, like a bad mother, but nor should I be ferrying them to sports clubs all the time like an obsessive tiger mom living for her children’s achievements.

“Basically whatever I do will ruin my children and I’ll be to blame. Meanwhile fathers are required to do nothing, and if I ever ask then he’ll have an affair.

“So thanks, Daily Mail for making me a better mother. By which I mean go fuck yourself.”