A MAN’S views are being ignored by mainstream politicians just because he is a paranoid racist consumed by burning hatred.
THE nation’s uncles have confirmed that if you turn up every three months or so with a big present, the kids think you are great.
AN artisan bakery is making middle class people behave as if it were dispensing a heroin-like substance.
A MAN has still not achieved his life’s goal of owning a ride-on lawnmower and a garden big enough to use it, he has confessed.
A WOMAN is refusing to accept that her husband has caught a cold in case he expects special treatment.
HALF a million Game of Thrones fans have signed a petition demanding a special cuddle and an assurance that mummy loves them.
COLLEGES keen to equip students with key life skills are introducing a National Vocational Qualification in putting a cover on a duvet.
A MOTHER-of-two has spent every single penny she had in a single afternoon at the school’s summer fete.
A GROUP of women have been spotted doing the 11am walk of shame to their city-centre hotel for a hen night.
EVERY year, Brits gather at the home of their gayest friend to laugh at Eurovision and end up being totally weirded out by what Latvia considers pop music.
MANY people have admitted they don’t wash their legs in the shower, sparking a furious Twitter ‘debate’. Here are some handy comments to help you join in.
A MAN always eats the bit of chocolate at the bottom of a Cornetto first instead of saving it until the end like a normal person.