Have you had a great conversation or have you just been showing off?

IT’S easy to think you just had an enjoyable conversation when in fact you were just smugly reeling off your achievements. Find out if you’re an unbearable show-off.

Crystals not improving woman's life in any way

A WOMAN has found that carrying some stones in her handbag has somehow not made her richer or happier.

How to be more like the best dad in the world, Thomas Markle

HOWEVER hard you’ve tried as a father you’re still nowhere near as great as Thomas Markle, the official world’s greatest dad. Here’s how to be like him.

Just buy whatever's cheapest, confirm wine experts

BRITAIN’S wine connoisseurs have admitted that the best wine to choose is whatever is on offer at the supermarkets.

A&E targets to be changed to 'If you're not dead'

THE government has announced it is scrapping waiting time targets for A&E and will instead consider it a success if some patients survive.

Man ruins date with honest answer to 'What are you looking for?'

A MAN has ruined a date by giving an honest answer to the question, 'What are you looking for in a relationship?'

Friends stunned as useless mate gets life together

A GROUP of friends has been let down by the useless anchor of the group getting his life together.

The must-read sh*te children's books for 2020

WHAT dreadful books lie in wait in children’s schoolbags this year?

Man too macho to drive wife's car

A MAN has refused to compromise his masculinity by driving his wife’s Fiat 500, he has confirmed.

A guide to McDonald's for Rutland residents

THE county of Rutland is the last in the UK to get a McDonald’s, but are its residents ready? Fit in with this guide to the New World fine dining experience.

Six alternatives to a Gwyneth Paltrow vagina-scented candle

DESPERATE for your house to smell like Hollywood pussy but can’t afford £58 for Gwyneth Paltrow’s signature product?

Couple offer to reduce environmental impact by giving back third child

A COUPLE concerned about their carbon footprint have confirmed they are more than happy to give up their third child.