News

Cheeky bastards asking for help with renovations want friends to be their slaves

A COUPLE asking friends to ‘pitch in’ with their home improvements essentially want their friends to be unpaid slave labour.

Middle aged man vows to one day find out what a carb is

A 55-YEAR-OLD reading the newspaper over a full cooked breakfast has renewed his commitment to discovering what a carb is.

Inspirational drivel to post on Facebook then do the opposite of

DO you wish you were less of a loser but prefer putting inspirational messages on Facebook to actually doing something about it? Here are some mantras just for you!

Woman asks friend for 'feedback' on incredibly shit children's book idea

A WOMAN found it hard to give positive feedback on a friend’s children's book idea because it was shockingly shite, it has emerged.

Five annoying things about millennials we've just made up

DO you love getting angry about millennials? Here are some things about them we’ve imagined which will make you despise them even more.

'I'm happy for you' actually means 'No I'm f**king not'

PEOPLE are never telling the truth when they claim to be happy for you, research has confirmed.

Experts on house prices not twats like other experts, UK decides

EXPERTS warning of a fall in house prices should be treated like wise sages while everyone else is ignored, Britain has decided.

Woman sure poor people will love pile of crap she's taken to charity shop

A WOMAN is convinced her donations to a charity shop are bringing joy to others, despite them just being rubbish she wants out of the house.