NHS workers and supermarket staff have agreed that as they are risking their lives then the MPs who order them to can bloody well do the same.
CHILDREN have been ordered to wait in the car with fizzy drinks and crisps so that barbecues do not exceed the six person limit.
TEN weeks into lockdown, the government has decided to clarify who is allowed to have sex with who, where, and when.
SLEEPING can be tricky, especiallly when you get up late and do nothing all day. So if you need to eat to the point of passing out like a milk-drunk baby, try these.
WHY is the government is taking actions for pandemic level one while we’re at level four but pretending it’s level three? Let me explain while soaring on ket.
A TEACHER has turned the aftermath of her lockdown drinking into a valuable learning experience, pupils have confirmed.
IKEA customers queued for three hours to buy Ekets, Skogstas and of course Möjlighet yesterday. Is your life meaningless without Swedish flatpacks?
DO you make friends and family feel guilty by always sending birthday and thank you cards? Try being even more irritating.
A SIX-YEAR-OLD has confirmed that the socially distanced school he has returned to is odd and scary while remaining crap and boring.
A MAN who claims to have been made unemployed by the pandemic was actually sacked for making inappropriate office advances while drunk.
LOCKDOWN is kind of over, a bit, so you need a good spin on it for your CV. Try these seven claims.
SIXTEEN Britons have injured themselves this weekend in complications relating to the new eye-testing system, police have confirmed.
- Barbecuing with the relatives and the other horrors available from today
- Man following recipe on foodie blog just wants the f**king measurements please
- What to talk about now you can't go on a lavishly expensive holiday this year
- Couple excited to invite friends round for a drink and a piss in their garden