News

'Is she evil?' Queen asks Harry

THE Queen has told Prince Harry that if his wife is a demon who tricked him into marriage to enslave him then everyone would understand. 

Man longing for the tender touch of airport security search

A MAN has admitted that getting frisked at the airport is the most intimate experience he has had since he got pickpocketed last year.

Grown man still likes big trucks

A FULLY-GROWN man still loves big trucks and is having a difficult time hiding it.

85 percent of homeworkers list 'get dressed' as number one annual goal

GETTING dressed is the number one challenge for people working from home, with ‘getting out of bed’ in second place.

Festival of Brexit cancelled due to everything about it

A FESTIVAL to promote Brexit has been cancelled because it was an incredibly terrible idea on every level, the organisers have revealed.

Harry leaves rambling, drunken apology on Queen's answerphone

THE Duke of Sussex has left an embarrassing drunken apology on the Queen’s answerphone, the palace has confirmed.

Woman referring to dogs as boyfriend and girlfriend

A WOMAN is behaving as if two dogs are in a relationship, it has emerged.

People who order spaghetti on dates 10 times less likely to get a shag

ORDERING spaghetti on a date is a surefire way to obliterate sexual allure, according to new research.

It's Easter now, say supermarkets

SUPERMARKETS have confirmed that it is Easter now.  

Entire nation resolves to quit work and open café

EVERY single person in Britain has vowed to quit their horrible boring job and open a lovely local café, it has emerged.

Dad’s short cut adds 15 minutes to journey

A FATHER of teenage boys has dodged traffic by taking a rat-run that added 15 minutes to a 20-minute journey, his children have confirmed.

Man working from home forced to hot desk with cat

A FREELANCER working from home is forced to share a workspace with his pet cat.