A METICULOUSLY crafted and devastatingly detailed passive-aggressive office email has received a short, cheerful response.
CONFUSED that an alteration of Covid rules is the same as the government cancelling Christmas, like the Puritans?
SUPERHERO fans has theorised that the new mutant Covid could be protecting us even though hated and feared by humanity, like the X-Men.
A MUM is studying for a four-year engineering degree in the hope she will learn how to untwist her child’s car-seat straps.
HAS your hairdresser mutilated your coiffure beyond repair? Here’s how to burn down your life and start again.
HORDES of bewildered boyfriends are milling around Lush desperately seeking Christmas gifts for their partners.
LONDON entering tier 3 lockdown is great news if you’re nuturing a hatred of London and everyone in it. Are you one of those dicks?
DOES anyone getting into your car first ask questions about whether it has working airbags? Then you’re the kind of driver everyone hates being in a car with. These are the signs.
A FAMILY cat is livid that his name was added to all the Christmas cards sent by his household without his permission.
STILL planning to visit our sworn enemies in Europe? After our no-deal exit, you’ll need to add these key phrases to your linguistic arsenal.
BRITONS have confirmed that the best way to deal with a pandemic, Brexit and winter is to throw shitloads of fairy lights at them.
A BREXITER has confirmed that deploying the Royal Navy to fire on French fishermen is absolutely what he voted for in 2016.