News

Seven-year-old in shock after seeing teacher in supermarket during holidays

A CHILD has been left traumatised after seeing one of his teachers in the supermarket during the school holidays.

Are you a member of 'the elites'?

‘THE elites’ are criticised for their power and influence by right-wingers everywhere. But could you be a member of this treacherous group of liberals? Read our guide.

Cockblocking friend just the extra hurdle man chatting up woman needed

A MAN who was ‘cockblocked’ whilst chatting up a woman in a nightclub has revealed it was just what he did not need at that moment.

Cost of living pretentiously in London up 50 percent

THE daily cost of living like an affected tw*t in the capital has rocketed in the last year, it has emerged.

Astrology fan perplexed she can't get boyfriend

A WOMAN who is a strong believer in astrology cannot understand why her strange supernatural belief system has not led to a lasting relationship.

The middle class parents' guide to making the holidays 'educational'

ARE you aspirational parents who think the summer holidays should be a gruelling educational experience? Here’s how to make your kids cleverer than their friends.

Man who claims never to be surprised by anything really getting on everyone's tits

A MAN who says "Is anyone really surprised by this?" in response to every piece of appalling or shocking news is beginning to annoy the f*ck out of people.

Woman goes to gym for good sit down

A WOMAN has once again spent several hours at her local gym doing anything except working out.

Are you edgy or just desperately seeking attention?

ARE you genuinely edgy, deep and enigmatic or is it a thinly veiled attempt to get attention? Take our test and find out.

Nonconformist couple living off home-grown veg and parent-grown inheritance

A COUPLE are totally independent thanks to food they grow themselves and money they inherited from their families.

Five ways to get through alcohol-free evenings

HAVE you started having alcohol-free nights for the sake of your health and waistline? Here’s how to make it through these grim evenings from Hell. 

The bluff Northerner's guide to ignoring six-foot floods

HARDY Northern folk aren’t scared of a few feet of cold water and collapsing bridges. Here Northerner Roy Hobbs explains how to carry on as normal.