A CARROT has confessed it is locked into a dysfunctional toxic co-dependent relationship with a stick.
THE Mother of Dragons from Game of Thrones has explained that she only wanted the Seven Kingdoms to respect the result of its recent referendum.
A WOMAN shopping for a new top is unable to find one that has not been ruined by an unnecessary details like a fake pockets or odd words.
A MAN with a slight cough has Googled his symptoms and convinced himself he is suffering from bubonic plague.
GAME of Thrones producers have been left red-faced after it emerged that rubbish character Samwell Tarly had been kept in the show for eight seasons.
ANTI-vaxxing, the belief that vaccinations are dangerous, is an extreme but increasingly popular position. Methamphetamine is an extremely dangerous drug increasing in popularity. Which are you on?
A SPIRITUAL journey has revealed to a man his totem animal is a lazy sloth that drinks five nights a week and masturbates very frequently.
WITH only two episodes left of Game of Thrones, surely tonight’s won’t be like last week’s where roughly bugger all happened?
AN extremely middle-class family are struggling to outdo themselves with ostentatious displays of middle-classness.
THE new cool place to be at a party is at the fire pit, watching the glowing coals and assigning yourself a key role in their upkeep. But what fire pit twat are you?
A LONDON couple spend all their weekends claiming to live in a nearby but better part of London, their friends have confirmed.
THE Royal gift incinerator is working at maximum capacity, it has been confirmed.