News

Royal Family only family without racists in it

THE Royal family is the only family in Britain without a single racist member, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.

Met Police were just trying to reinforce message that women aren't safe at night

THE Metropolitan Police explained they only violently assaulted a women’s vigil to remind women why they should stay home at night.

Lorry driver reversing

Have you got the mad skillz to help a reversing lorry?

DO you possess the high levels of self-assurance needed to help a lorry driver reverse a massive dangerous vehicle? Find out with our quiz.  

Ready meals not ready enough, single man complains

A SINGLE man has complained that so-called 'ready meals' still require a minimal effort to prepare.

Girl watching television

Parents hoping child will develop moral compass from watching Disney films

A COUPLE are optimistic that watching Disney films will teach their daughter key life lessons they cannot be arsed to impart themselves.

How has being an only child turned you into a dreadful adult?

DID you enjoy the undivided attention of your parents? Have you turned out to be an insufferable adult? Here’s how it f**ked you up.

Five Mother's Day presents that say 'I'm sorry I destroyed your pelvic floor'

LOVE your mum? Conscious that your birth ravaged her and left her incontinent? Here are five gifts that say 'Thanks, also sorry'.

Mum treated to horrible breakfast, shit card and cleaning up the kitchen

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has awoken to the relaxing sound of her children being shouted at to make Mother’s Day cards while buggering up her breakfast.

Woman spends evening amending Tesco order 230 times

A WOMAN has wasted an entire evening of her life amending her Tesco delivery.

Line of Duty and other hit shows it's far too late to get into

WE'RE living in a golden age of TV which you're ignoring whilst you scroll mindlessly through your phone every evening. Here are some classics that it's way too late to get into.

Making a tit of yourself in front of your daughter's new boyfriend: A dad's guide

TALKING to the teenage bellend shagging your daughter is never easy, but here’s how to make sure he thinks you are an absolute twat.

The four government-approved jokes that will be allowed on the BBC

WITH the government keen to clamp down on supposedly ‘woke’ humour, here are the state-sanctioned jokes you can expect to hear on the BBC in the near future.