TOO young for a vaccine yet but actually deep into middle age? Here’s how to ignore annoying reality and convince yourself being slightly shy of 50 is practically being 25.
IT’S difficult knowing where to put your savings when interest rates can earn you up to 20p every few months. Here are five places to keep your cash for a larger return.
THE Vatican’s decision not to bless same-sex unions has led to a gay couple’s wedding in Bournemouth being completely ruined by fire and brimstone.
LIBERALS, who are the real racists, have accused me of spending my honest English patriot supporters’ money on booze and coke. Lies. Here’s where it went.
BRITONS aged below 50 have been wished the best of luck in dealing with a virus they will not be vaccinated against for f**king ages.
ARE you frequently baffled by the 'celebrities' in the Daily Mail showbiz sidebar? Use our guide to identify them and find out what category of pointless celeb they fall into.
CANCELLATION is the terrible spectre stalking the 21st century, worse by far than poverty, Covid or climate change. But will it happen to you?
HAVING given all Britain the horn simply by drying a dish on The Great British Bake Off, here are other mundane activities James McAvoy could turn into pure filth.
A WOMAN who spilt a full pint of milk onto carpet has set fire to her own home rather than deal with cleaning up the f**king mess.
A PHONE call to patch up differences between Prince William and Prince Harry went badly. The Daily Mash has the transcript.
THE Pope has ruled that ‘sinful’ same-sex unions can’t be blessed, so why did God create gayness anyway? And what about these thorny issues?
FRANCE, Germany and Italy have suspended use of the UK-developed AstraZeneca vaccine following reports that it turns you into a raging gammon.