News

The six people who are getting kicked off your Netflix account

NETFLIX is cracking down on the sharing of passwords after years of unregulated access. These are the six people in your life who’ll have to buy their own: 

Six toys you never had as a child that left you scarred for life

DO you still have feelings of bitterness and resentment at not being bought certain highly desirable toys as a child? Read this list as a form of therapy.

'I'm not racist, I've got a mixed-race sister-in-law' says William

PRINCE William has defended the Royal Family from accusations of racism by pointing out his connection to a woman of colour who hates them.

How to get your fix of gossip during lockdown

BORED out of your mind? Starved of tittle-tattle? Here’s how to experience the incredible high of hearing gossip while you're shut indoors.

'Doomscrolling' and other terms we'd pay good money never to hear again

THE rich and beautiful English language of Shakespeare, Donne and E L James is increasingly a thing of the past. Here are yet more words that should be fired directly into the sun.

First they came for Clarkson, but I did not speak out because I'm not that into cars

FIRST Clarkson. Now Piers. By the end of the Wokerati purge, will there be any middle-aged jowly white men left in Britain? Here Roy Hobbs discusses their plight.

Yes, that's exactly the point, confirms childless woman accused of being selfish

A WOMAN who has been called selfish for choosing not to have children has happily confirmed that that was the whole point of her decision.

Prince Andrew's guide to dealing with the media

MY nephew and his partner have got into a spot of bother with the media recently. But don’t worry, kids - here’s how Uncle Andy effortlessly deals with those pests. 

How to be a free speech bellend

‘FREE speech’ is the latest buzz-phrase for right-wingers and ranters. Here’s how to bang on about it furiously without understanding it.

Nigel Slater's midweek shitfaced meals

IT’S Wednesday, you’ve celebrated with a few drinks, and you fancy doing some cooking. Let intellectual food writer Nigel Slater show you how.

Five knobheads Good Morning Britain could stick next to Susanna Reid

WHO could possibly fill Piers Morgan’s clown shoes? Well, any one of these knobheads could step in as Good Morning Britain co-host seamlessly.

Twats out and about, and the other signs spring has sprung

IS the long lockdown winter finally over? Have we begun our long, wet, dull, Easter egg-eating lockdown spring?