ARE you struggling to understand what puce-faced patriots are jabbering on about? Clear up the confusion with these translations of popular gammon phrases.
A MAN is planning to get ripped by taking some weights out of the box they came in and putting them in the spare room.
IN every city street and country lane in Britain an abandoned facemask lies dirty and forlorn. But exactly who are the twats throwing them away, and why?
IS your partner insisting on turning on the central heating against your wishes? Here’s how to put them right about ‘being cold’.
WITH a Covid clampdown in the North likely, Yorkshire resident Martin Bishop explains what will happen with a large dose of sentimentality and a chip on his shoulder.
A MAN has admitted that, although his evenings are the most precious moments of his day, he just cannot be f**ked doing anything with them.
A HOMEWORKING man has cracked open his customary elevenses of a can of lager.
HAVE you managed to achieve emotional contentment or are you merely a cretin? Take our quiz and find out.
LOST your six-figure job? Exciting opportunities in the world of chicken de-beaking await. I’m Rishi Sunak, and these are the benefits of your new minimum wage career.
DONALD Trump has confirmed that science, medicine and doctors are a load of bullshit.
ARE you able to express yourself naturally and directly with no hint of apology? How dreadful. Here’s how to politely fail to say anything in a middle-class way instead:
A CAT that refuses to eat dry food appears to have no qualms about enthusiastically licking its own anus.