News

School trip costs how f**king much?

A SCHOOL trip to somewhere not even far away costs they-are-taking-the-fucking-piss, parents have confirmed.

Mashing stuff down plughole 'probably fine', say experts

FORCING things down the plughole is unlikely to have bad consequences, according to boffins who cannot be arsed to walk to the bin.

Five things to think about doing this weekend before sitting on your arse in pyjamas all day

YOU'RE definitely going to make the most of your weekend. Or you're going to pretend you are. Here are five excellent things to do this weekend that you won't.

The embarrassing dad's guide to meeting boyfriends and girlfriends

INTERACTING with your teenage son or daughter’s partner is a complex challenge for dads. Here’s how to make it less of a total disaster.

It is a really good cathedral, says Trump

DONALD Trump has backed two Russian tourists who visited Salisbury last March to marvel at the city’s 13th Century cathedral.

Tube carriage impressed by powerful display of manspreading

A MAN on a tube train has established himself as a powerful and sexually successful individual by spreading his legs quite far apart.

Absolute arse telling people 'its' should be spelt 'it's'

A POMPOUS idiot is encouraging other people to adopt his horrendous punctuation, it has emerged.

Phones basically all the same these days, admits Apple

APPLE has launched three new smartphones with the message that they are pretty similar to all the other ones.