WITH the Crown Estate due to receive a bailout after a slump in revenue, the Queen has been spotted spending her first welfare cheque on cheap fags and booze.
THIS year has been shit enough without attempting to sort out all the huge, festering problems in your life. So treat keep sweeping all of these things under the carpet until 2020 is over.
With casual sex off the table, how can you be sure you’re allowed to jump someone’s bones? Find out with this quiz by health secretary Matt Hancock.
A WOMAN on a health kick has supplemented her juice diet by blending an entire Brie, along with two packets of Wotsits and some ham.
A COUPLE who regularly have loud, angry arguments and scream 'I hate you' believe it is a sign of a healthy relationship.
LOCKED-DOWN students are dumping their partners at home or other universities at the rate of one every 45 seconds, it has emerged.
A MAN has been to his barber for his fourth haircut of 2020 like the high-maintenance bastard he is, it has emerged.
IT’S inevitable that you’ll eventually bump into some twat from school while shopping. Here are some you should have looked out for in the ready meal aisle.
YOUNG people have spent so long not associating with each other that they no longer have the skills to perform sexual intercourse.
IT is vital that women know what men on the internet think is wrong with their bodies. Here’s how to go about this noble work.
BOUGHT a pricey mask, got a Pret subscription, risked your life on public transport - only to be sent home from the office? Here’s how to cope with working in the kitchen again.
THE government’s new Covid tracing app, finally launched today, has the unfortunate side-effect of giving you Covid.