News

Being environmentally conscious great way of annoying parents, say 10 year-olds

PRIMARY school children with half a term’s learning about climate change have discovered it is a brilliant way of annoying the sh*t out of everybody.

Woman invited to 'girl's night in' considering faking own death

A WOMAN invited to a night round a friend’s house drinking ‘fizz’ and watching a romcom is looking into faking her own death to dodge it.

Everyone in office meeting has their arms folded

EVERYONE at an office meeting has their arms folded and is refusing to meet anyone else’s eye, it has emerged.

Women attracted to men who are good at pool, think men playing pool

A GROUP of men playing pool in a pub have agreed that all attractive women present would definitely only consider shagging the winner.

Grown man still thinks he should be enjoying his job

A MAN has reached the age of 34 still naively believing that his job should be something he enjoys.

Cockroaches following Iran story with growing interest

THE NEXT dominant species on the planet is following the news from Iran with growing interest.

Download festival finally brings hell to earth

THE realm of Hades itself has finally been brought to our earthly plane at this weekend’s Download festival, attendees have agreed. 

Johnson to spend leadership campaign dangling from a zip-wire in Macclesfield

BORIS Johnson is to spend the rest of the Tory leadership campaign suspended 40ft above an Asda car park in Macclesfield.

Middle lane voted 'best lane'

THE middle lane has been voted British Motorway Lane of the Year.

Dog realises entire life built around couple

A GOLDEN retriever who never thought he would be ‘one of those dogs’ who organised his whole life around humans is doing just that.

Bored man wondering if you can put soup in a Soda Stream

A MAN is wondering how far he can take his home carbonating device while hefting a tin of Big Soup questioningly in one hand.

Weddings in stupid places to bankrupt Britain

MILLIONS of Britons are facing financial ruin because their friends keep getting married in distant, expensive places they have only visited once.