COMMUTERS want to know why a man who gets the same train wears his rucksack on both shoulders.
EVERYONE who gets pissed on a couple of drinks is continuing to insist it was because they had not had a proper meal that day.
A CHILD’S birthday party has been organised specifically to f**k up the whole weekend.
A HUNGOVER man is struggling to stop himself from crying at the slightest provocation.
A WOMAN has ordered a glass of Shiraz as she prefers its name to other wines.
A NORTHERN man has been exiled to the South of England after telling friends London was ‘not that bad’.
ARE you being bombarded by indecipherable corporate jargon? Check to see if you’re about to get your ar*e kicked out the door.
A BRITISH man has married a woman he is not attracted to out of sheer British politeness.
CHILDREN have discovered their parents are total bullshitters who lie to them daily.
BIGOTED bones are terrible. I had a granddad who suffered. But today’s gammons don’t have a racist bone in them, and here’s why:
NO-ONE should be discriminated against unless they drive a car that singles them out as an utter w**ker, Britain has agreed.
DO YOU struggle to understand Daily Telegraph reportage which appears to come from a mirror-universe?