News

Could you write a terrible episode of Doctor Who?

DO you feel you could write an episode of Doctor Who that's mediocre enough for the new series? Read our guide and find out. 

Which insane fitness cult is right for you?

DO you long for an exercise regime that will take over your life? Read our guide to which all-consuming fitness cult you should bore your family, friends and strangers with.

What a bunch of awful, middle class twats, thinks former This Life fan

A FORMER fan of This Life watching the series a second time cannot believe he ever obsessed over such smug, solipsistic bilge.

Is two bottles of vodka a day too much?

EVERYONE likes a tipple, but is cracking open that second bottle of vodka going too far? Take our test and find out.

Mum who found teenage son reading White Dwarf magazine wishes he'd been w*nking

A MOTHER who accidentally walked in on her son reading fantasy gaming magazine White Dwarf wishes he had been masturbating instead.

Trump found not guilty by a jury of his mates

PRESIDENT Trump has been acquitted by a jury of his supporters, party members and close personal friends. 

Are you a dog person, a cat person or someone capable of nuance?

ALL people can be divided into which of two domestic pets they prefer, unless you are someone who is in any way open to subtlety. Which are you?

New employee blissfully unaware of who she should hate

A NEW employee is enjoying the grace period where she does not yet know who in her office she will despise.

Go on, p*ss off, gyms tell January joiners

EVERYONE who joined a gym in January has been emailed asking them to please stop attending if they have not already.

Five made-up crises to be angry about now immigration is over

BRITAIN’S fictional immigration crisis is at an end thanks to Brexit, so what will Middle Englanders raise their blood pressure about now?

Mobility scooter f**king excellent, pensioner reports

A PENSIONER on a mobility scooter has confirmed that riding it around town is just as cool and kick-ass as it appears.

Five Shakespearean actors who would voice Peppa Pig while considering it beneath them

PEPPA Pig’s voice actor has been replaced by an unknown, to the outrage of the great British stage actors who auditioned and failed. Here they are.