SICK of wearing your face mask on your actual face? Does it feel more natural on your chin? These six people couldn’t care less if your spittle is flying at them.
A MAN is mystified that builders have not returned his calls because he assumes they live in skips wearing filthy overalls desperate for cash-in-hand.
GETTING wankered in a building named after a king is 80 per cent of Britain’s economy, so as prime minister I need to make that happen. Here’s how to survive it:
QUEUES outside branches of Games Workshop have reached the two-metre mark as pairs of desperate gamers wait to get inside.
WORRIED about lowering the tone of your social bubble? Waitrose shopper Charlotte Phelps explains how to get the perfect mix.
THE government has misled, hidden the facts and flat-out lied to Britain. Worse, they have refused to explain what the f**k has happened to Frosties.
COPING fine with 2020? It’s just that the kitchen lightbulb blowing has caused you to clench your fists and scream ‘f**k the world’?
A STATUE of left-wing band Chumbawumba pulled down last week is already back up again, it has emerged.
AN obnoxious middle-class mother has asserted that her five-year-old has never had sugar and would not like it if he did.
A FATHER-OF-TWO who received motor racing and DIY-themed Father’s Day cards has asked his children if they even know who he f**king is.
A WOMAN is passionate about supporting local businesses, provided they are not marking products up too much compared to global retail giant Amazon.
THE health secretary has admitted that the government’s 'world beating' track and trace app failed because it was developed for a 20-year-old phone.