DO you regularly spend far too much at a farmers’ market and want others to know about it? Here’s how to bring it up constantly.
THE weekend is the perfect time to unwind by banging relentlessly, but you and your partner will fall asleep on the sofa while others are having the best sex of their lives. Who are they?
A DELIVEROO driver who has visited one address several times over the past week is no longer bothering to conceal his disgust.
A PERVERTED anarchist monster who recognises no authority has outraged society by keeping their car and house keys on a single keyring.
A COUPLE spent 200 quid on a trampoline only for their kids to get bored of it after two f**king days.
A NEW mum gave birth in her local pub so that her husband could see his baby being born.
WORRIED you may still trust your own judgement rather than blindly following instructions from renowned logician Boris Johnson? Try these hypothetical scenarios:
A MAN who only has four friends is wondering what sort of person would be so popular that limiting gatherings to six people would be a problem.
JUST because universities are moving online doesn’t mean you can’t have a debauched Freshers’ Week. Here’s how to kick off your university experience from your childhood bedroom at your parents' house.
AS a socially responsible Guardian reader, it’s your duty to prevent young people harming themselves at weekend raves. But how? Here are your questions answered.
ALRIGHT plebs, it’s Dominic Cummings here, the guy who single-handedly destroyed the public’s willingness to follow lockdown rules. Here’s my advice on how to get round the new guidelines.
WHETHER it’s the woman obsessed with dog crap or the bloke who manages to make comments about the bin collection racist, here are the weirdos who lurk in every group.