A WOMAN who badly needs a cup of tea to get anything done is unable to make one because she needs one so badly.
THE new year can be a difficult time for many, especially after 12 months of bloody 2020. Here are some surefire ways to shake off the January blues.
AS we start a new year, everyone is convinced 2021 cannot possibly be as bad as 2020. They're right. It could be worse.
Dear [Benny please put the names here darling].
CHRISTMAS was just a brief pause before entering tier 4 this year, so as a new year begins use these excuses to finish that bottle of Baileys.
THE value of every house in a street has dropped by 15 per cent after a child’s Christmas trampoline was set up in the front garden.
A COUPLE enjoying a bracing walk to welcome the new year are still off their faces from last night.
THERE’S a vaccine coming, unless the Tories f**k it up, and after the inevitable January lockdown life could return to normal. Make resolutions accordingly.
OUR brains had a lot to process this year so if your nightmares have involved some pretty weird shit, you’re not alone.
A SELECTION of mixed nuts ostensibly bought for Christmas have appealed to the household to stop deluding themselves and put them in the bin.
A DAD is getting into the party spirit by doing repeated shots of Gaviscon.
AN elderly parent is helping at Christmas by doing the washing up while standing three feet away from a dishwasher.