A SELFISH brat of a woman has announced that she expects her birthday celebrations to last an entire bloody week.
EVERYTHING is bad again and looks unlikely to improve anytime soon. If your inquisitive little darlings are asking if this is the apocalypse, here’s how to explain it.
BOLTONERS are overjoyed that they cannot have a night out in Bolton for the foreseeable future.
THE only thing that the whole of Britain can still agree on is that the idea of celebrating ‘work anniversaries’ is total bullshit, it has emerged.
EASTENDERS is back with a bleak lockdown storyline, but there are surely many more pandemic possibilities. What about these?
FROGMORE Cottage has been listed on holiday rental service AirBNB, it has emerged.
TAKE it from me, a man who hasn’t got laid this millennium, it’s scientifically impossible for men and women to have platonic friendships and not have sex.
RAIL operators are to protect passengers with brain cells by introducing carriages exclusively for twats who refuse to wear face masks.
THE number of parents loathing the school run with every fibre of their being is already at the level it was in March.
ANXIOUS first-time parent? Here’s five essential bits of newborn kit from businesses who capitalising on your gullibility.
THE leaves are turning, the nights are drawing in, it will soon be f**king freezing. Try these excruciatingly obvious ways of adapting your wardrobe.
WOMEN have agreed that friendship with other women is too stressful and plan to move to male-style friendships without any obligation for emotional support.