ARE you a Love Island contestant worried that you’ll become a meme by saying something jaw-droppingly thick? Here are some basic things you should know about.
WAITROSE has launched a new bring-your-own-container policy so the neighbours and binmen will never know how much you drink.
AMERICANS have asked Britons to watch the Morgan-Trump interview again, but this time imagine the British idiot is now leading their country.
THE Queen is contemplating abdicating the throne if anyone ever again tries to make her spend three days with President Trump.
DINNER party guests have been kept unaware the bowl they have been served Kettle Chips from was last week used as a child vomit receptacle.
CELEBRATIONS are continuing worldwide after the victory the world feared it would never see: the day iTunes was finally defeated.
If you don't want to eat chlorinated chicken, you could always just read the f**king label, say experts
PEOPLE worried about eating chlorinated chicken have been advised to read the label on any chickens that they buy.
A BEARSKIN guard outside Buckingham Palace has admitted struggling to keep a straight face at the preposterous thing on President Trump’s head.
ANN Widdecombe has confirmed that homosexuality could be reversed with powerful magnets.
THOUSANDS are self-styled 'foodies' are trumpeting their ability to orally process nutrients, it has emerged.
A COUPLE have relocated to a smaller house to be in the catchment area of an outstanding Waitrose, they have confirmed.
BRITAIN is to spend the next week pleasantly distracted from its ongoing political crisis by watching a touring orange clown.