News

Six things you've never understood about the Easter story

HAVE you been confused about Jesus’s crucifixion ever since you learned about it at school? Here are some issues that really need clarifying.

Huge f**king satellite dishes, and four other stupid 2000s status symbols

IF you were keen to be an aspirational show-off in the 2000s, certain status symbols were vital. Was your house full of this sort of tat?

Everyone leaving London going to same place

ALL Londoners leaving the capital for a better life are moving en masse to Cornwall and the Cotswolds, they have confirmed. 

Five deeply unfunny April Fools' day jokes brands will make

NOT sure if a faceless corporation is pulling your leg? Check to see if it’s one of these exhaustingly tedious jokes that brands wheel out every April Fools’ Day.

Being drunk and 10 miles from home: The downsides of a return to normality

EVERYONE is relieved that regular life is gradually resuming, but there’s a considerable downside. After a year, have you forgotten what normality is like?

The five annoying habits of people who don't know how to argue

ARE your attempts to have a debate frequently undermined by the other person's inability to argue without being a complete twat? Here are their annoying techniques.

A pint of whelks, and other reasons Britain is shit at street food

BRITAIN now enjoys the incredible street food of a host of nations, which is fantastic because ours is shit. These are the vile things we eat with our fingers.

'You f**king calling me a liar?' says Archbishop of Canterbury

THE Archbishop of Canterbury has told Harry and Meghan that if they want to call him a liar he will come round and they can do it to his f**king face.

The Mr Men books 21st century Britain desperately needs

THE Mr Men helped us understand the world as children, but where are they now we’re baffled adults? These are the Mr Men books we need today...

'What nationality are all these racists then?' wonders confused Briton

A PUZZLED Briton is wondering, since the UK has been cleared of racism, where all these racists he keeps meeting are from.

Bruce Springsteen fan wondering when he'll write song about Swindon

A BRITISH fan of Bruce Springsteen is wondering why his idol has never written a song about the Wiltshire town of Swindon.

Going To The Park For A Fight: the government guidelines

AS lockdown eases, many British citizens will be heading to a park, beach or beauty spot for drunken mayhem and a punch-up. Ensure you follow the rules: