News

Science less than a decade away from fully operational printer

SCIENTISTS will soon develop a home copying machine that is not an absolute pain in the arse, it has been claimed.

How is Trump planning to be a dick in the UK?

IT’S rare for Donald Trump to go anywhere without being a dick in some way, so what has he got planned for his stay in Britain?

Family spend 30 grand on camping gear for 'cheaper holidays'

A FAMILY who bought a tent to save money have been forced to blow their life savings on all the fucking equipment you need to go with it.

Five excellent Friday timewasting tips

IT’S the last day of a gruelling week and you’re not doing any work as a point of principle, but the day is crawling by. Try these timewasting tips to make the day go faster.

Weather forecasters warn of high risk of dickheads this weekend

EXPERTS are urging the public to take care during this weekend’s hot weather due to a sharp rise in dickheads.

The latest cute phrases that will make you want to puke

AFTER the success of ‘sleeps’ and ‘holibobs’, the world’s idiots have decided more twee words and phrases are needed. Here are the latest ones.

Have you got a totally lame addiction?

IT’S currently normal to claim you’ve got an addiction when really it’s just something you like doing. See if you are suffering from any of these bullshit addictions.

Incredibly picky girlfriend refuses to have sex under filthy duvet

A MAN’S girlfriend is putting on airs and graces about bed linen that hardly smells at all, he has revealed.

Woman who 'doesn't mind' which restaurant she goes to is lying

A WOMAN who tells her partner she ‘doesn’t mind’ where they go out for dinner is full of shit, it has been confirmed.

Couple only staying together for the sake of their mates

A COUPLE are only keeping up the pretence of a happy relationship to avoid disappointing their friends, they have revealed.

Five ways to put off going to the toilet

YOUR body might be telling you it urgently needs to go to the bathroom, but sometimes it’s just too much hassle. Here’s how to put it off like the lazy bastard you are.  

Living in a big glass tube 'can add 40 years to your life'

ABANDONING the outside world in favour of a big glass tube can extend your life expectancy by decades, according to a new study.