News

Whistleblower reveals Britain’s universities 'full of dweebs'

AN anonymous whistleblower has revealed that Britain's universities are hotbeds of dweebish behaviour.

Woman becomes self help guru simply by putting every 10th word in all-caps

A WOMAN has become a self help guru after accidentally putting every 10th word she writes in capital letters.

Idiots at outdoor cinema shiver through film they’ve seen before

Film fans at an outdoor cinema event insisted they had a great time shivering through a film they have all seen several times before.

Best man's speech makes everyone realise groom is genuinely awful person

A BEST man speech has succeeded in turning everyone the groom has ever cared about against him.

The toddler's guide to being taken to a music festival

IT may feel as if your parents are trying to traumatise or actually kill you by taking you to a music festival, but they are just idiots. Here's how to avoid being mentally scarred for life.

2000 AD reader ruins date by saying woman looks 'zarjaz'

A MAN has ruined his chance to form a romantic relationship by using an invented slang word to describe his date.

Five utterly pointless debates you can't help getting sucked into

DO you sometimes get drawn into mindless ‘debates’ then bitterly regret wasting your time? Here are some classics to avoid.

How to pretend today's torrential rain isn't ruining your British holiday

PARTS of Britain will today get a month’s rain in a day, but how will you claim it isn’t making your British break a nightmare? Try these tips.

A-Level student wins first choice of average university and p*ss-easy course

AN A-Level student is celebrating getting the grades to go to a low-level university and do a course that will mean he can stay in bed most days.

Pedants literally give up over misuse of 'literally'

BRITAIN’S pedants have conceded defeat over persistent misuse of the word ‘literally’.

Six incredibly bad film remake ideas

WITH an unnecessary remake of The Lion King in cinemas, how far can the film industry take this creatively bankrupt trend? Here are some ideas.

Kid perfectly fit and well all day has 6,000 ailments at bedtime

A GIRL who felt perfectly well all day long has suddenly developed 6,000 mystery illnesses at bedtime.