News

Man who got surround sound looking for new ways to piss money up the wall

A MAN who bought an expensive Bose surround sound system for his tiny living room is looking for new ways to spunk away his income.

Things they're going to bollocks up in Star Wars: Episode IX

THE latest Star Wars trilogy has included some incredible bollocks like space Leia and tedious moralising. So what nonsense will be in the final instalment?

F**king weirdo has genuine passion for telemarketing

A MAN who everyone assumed was lying about his “passion for telemarketing” has a genuine love of the shitty, time-wasting career.

Woman confusing being very stressed with being very successful

A WOMAN who works long hours, never sees her friends and worries about her job constantly thinks she is doing very well at life, she has confirmed.

Londoners moving up north for better quality of being loathed

LONDON residents are moving in numbers to the north and Midlands in search of a simpler, purer way of being generally disliked.

We sell designer clothes for below retail price and sweets for well above, says TK Maxx

TK MAXX has explained that it makes a profit on £50 Gucci jeans by selling liquorice whirls by the counter for £3.50.

Mike Ashley attacks 'greedy' landlords from inside giant pie

SPORTS Direct owner Mike Ashley has attacked 'greedy' commercial landlords with bathing in an 18ft meat pie.

Cats wondering why they didn't try teamwork before

A GROUP of cats has belatedly discovered it is far easier to get things done if you work as a team.