News

Angry Parents Forced To Spend Six Hours Tobogganing

PARENTS reacted angrily yesterday after it was revealed they had been forced to spend all day with their children for no reason.

 

Christian Bale's American Accent Gets Even Worse

FILM fans were last night given a sneak preview of Christian Bale's worst American accent so far.


Snow does eventually melt, claims Met Office

SNOW is a delicate substance made of tiny ice crystals and unlikely to last forever, the Met Office claimed last night.

 

British Workers In Europe Decide Not To Go On Strike

BRITONS working in continental Europe have decided they will probably not strike in sympathy with their fellow countrymen.

 

Millions Of Snowbound Workers About To Discover Jeremy Kyle

SNOWBOUND workers across Britain are today expected to encounter the Jeremy Kyle Show for the very first time.

Worthless, Ill-Informed Opinions In Every Home By 2012

EVERY home in Britain will have access to an endless stream of worthless, ill-informed opinions by 2012, under new government proposals.

Michael Sheen To Play Red Rum

TONY Blair actor Michael Sheen is to extend his repertoire of real-life characters by playing Red Rum in a BBC mini-series.


Under 15s 'Should Not Be Allowed To Fly Planes'

CHILDREN under the age of 15 should never be allowed to fly a passenger jet, not even for five minutes, according to the chief medical officer.