CRUSHING anti-psychotic drugs into some yogurt has replaced television as the world's most popular method of child care, new research shows.
DEAD acting legend Charlton Heston has launched a campaign for the right to shoot angels with a variety of high powered assault weapons.
SUPERMODEL Naomi Campbell has agreed to take part in a televised brawl with a bear.
STAR Trek-style teleportation is months away from becoming a scientific reality, the disembodied head of its inventor insisted last night.
YOUNG alternative comedians are too scared to write third-rate musicals with Andrew Lloyd Webber, Ben Elton said last night.
IRELAND'S leprechaun catchers were grabbing their nets and pulling on their boots last night as the country began it's search for a new leader.
MORE than 50% of British households are switching energy supplier three times an hour, according to an industry survey.
PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe has agreed to resign in exchange for a pension of 5000 gazillion Zimbabwean dollars a year.
BRITAIN'S first hybrid embryo was on the run last night after escaping from its laboratory cage.
SCIENTISTS have started a fresh excavation at Stonehenge in the hope of confirming, once and for all, the ancient monument's complete and utter pointlessness.
ACTOR Kevin Spacey is to celebrate one of his most famous roles by hosting BBC1's latest amateur talent show, I am Keyser Soze.
AROUND 63% of exotic Japanese girlfriends wear old socks in bed and insist their boyfriends buy a Vauxhall Zafira or Ford Focus C-Max, new research shows.