News

Man keeps hitting snooze button like an idiot

A MAN never just gets up and instead hits snooze on his clock radio until the last possible moment before he has to go to work.

Grans demand to know what it says on your t-shirt

BRITAIN'S grandmothers are squinting and demanding to know what the words on your t-shirt mean.

Barbecue make man strong like bear

MAN was weak and girly and work in office where he bullied by woman, but now him strong. Him have meat. Him have barbecue.

We never had all these iPhones in my day, says man glued to his f**king iPhone

A MIDDLE-AGED man has taken time out from glancing constantly at his phone to complain about the younger generation being fixated with theirs.

Five books to pretend to read while thinking about how clever you look holding a book

READING a book in a cafe, on the Tube or at the wheel of your car makes you look wise and mysterious, even if you’re just posing and not taking in a word.  

Man's first meditation session instantly derailed by erection

A MAN'S first attempt to find a more spiritual way of life was scuppered by the almost instantaneous arrival of an erection.

Man who thought he had World Cup fever actually has malaria

A MAN who diagnosed himself as having 'World Cup fever' has actually got malaria, his doctors have confirmed.

David Dimbleby refusing to ask or answer any questions for rest of life

DAVID Dimbleby has confirmed that he will not be asking or answering any questions for the rest of his life.