Dear [Benny please put the names here darling].
CHRISTMAS was just a brief pause before entering tier 4 this year, so as a new year begins use these excuses to finish that bottle of Baileys.
THE value of every house in a street has dropped by 15 per cent after a child’s Christmas trampoline was set up in the front garden.
A COUPLE enjoying a bracing walk to welcome the new year are still off their faces from last night.
THERE’S a vaccine coming, unless the Tories f**k it up, and after the inevitable January lockdown life could return to normal. Make resolutions accordingly.
OUR brains had a lot to process this year so if your nightmares have involved some pretty weird shit, you’re not alone.
A SELECTION of mixed nuts ostensibly bought for Christmas have appealed to the household to stop deluding themselves and put them in the bin.
A DAD is getting into the party spirit by doing repeated shots of Gaviscon.
AN elderly parent is helping at Christmas by doing the washing up while standing three feet away from a dishwasher.
A METROPOLITAN daughter is terrorising her rural family by introducing them to continental Christmas food such as pannetone and stollen.
CHRISTMAS is full of fun activities, but also many opportunities to get extremely pissed. Here are some things to turn into a gruelling nightmare with a bad hangover.
ACROSS Britain recipients of high street gift vouchers are desperately racing to spend them before the retailers in question go bust.