SHOCKED residents of a small Scottish village have revealed that the serial killer who lived among them was "a really nice fellow" who always had time for a chat and was especially good with kids.
DRINKING four or five large glasses of white wine at an office night out increases your chances of being sacked by up to 80 per cent, new research shows.
JILTED royal girlfriend Kate Middleton is to campaign for the abolition of the monarchy and the establishment of a British republic.
RISING CO2 levels will cause statues to come to life and wreak blood-thirsty revenge on their human tormentors, scientists warned today.
SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have patented what they claim is the world's first self-hoovering floor.
THE Scottish Parliament is drawing up plans for a wide-ranging ban on swear words in public places.
AN official inquiry is to be launched into claims the Scottish Executive removed the body parts of staff while they were sitting at their desks.
RESEARCHERS last night claimed they had discovered a gene which increases people’s propensity to launch enquiries into the bleeding obvious.
THE BBC is to launch a new 24-hour radio station given over entirely to phone-ins from punters, promising round the clock burbling inanities and factual inaccuracy.
A CASH-STRAPPED British soldier serving in Iraq has offered himself up for kidnap after pre-selling his post release interview rights to ITV.
POWERFUL household cleaner Cillit Bang has been awarded a five year contract to run the National Health Service.