THE Dutch have launched their first salvo in the war with Scotland by flooding the country with cheap, low-grade pornography.
SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have embarked on the world's first human-animal hybrid embryo project in a bid to create Satan.
AUTHOR JK Rowling has revealed that no one is going to die at the end of the final Harry Potter book because she "made the whole thing up".
AMERICAN televangelist Jerry Falwell has launched an outspoken attack on Heaven after arriving there this week describing God’s Kingdom as looking like a ‘puff’s paradise’.
IN a display of maturity and selflessness which would make his mother proud, Prince Harry has volunteered his butler to serve in Iraq.
IN his first act as Scotland's new First Minister, Alex Salmond has declared war on the Dutch.
SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have developed the world's first talking road signs as a cheap alternative to satellite navigation systems.
BRITAIN’S top road safety campaigners are demanding a ban on ‘driving at the wheel’ in an attempt to cut the number of car crashes.
CHURCH leaders were under attack last night for publishing an 'offensive' comic book designed to teach teenagers about sex and morality.
TONY Blair has announced the timetable for the run-up to the declaration of the date by which he will reveal the time of the announcement of the confirmation of his final split from his long-term companion Gordon Brown.
PRINCE Philip has announced that he is 'absolutely thrilled' with his new set of balls.