News

Are you sexually promiscuous enough at work?

ARE you worried that you’ve slept with less than half of your office, and it’s affecting your reputation and career prospects?

Quirky start-up is based in normal office and pays its staff with money

A START-UP company is based in a normal office instead of a giant playground and is paying people a fair wage instead of free kombucha.

Song of Ice and Fire single released

THE full-cast song with which the Game of Thrones finale concluded last night has been released as a single with hopes it will go to number one.

Dentistry is expensive because mouths are gross, dentists confirm

DENTISTS have confirmed that they charge huge amounts as compensation for having to spend their working lives staring into your disgusting mouths.

Man's views ignored by mainstream just because he thinks racism is not as bad as wind turbines

A MAN’S views are being ignored by mainstream politicians just because he is a paranoid racist consumed by burning hatred.

Giving kids stuff makes them like you, uncles confirm

THE nation’s uncles have confirmed that if you turn up every three months or so with a big present, the kids think you are great. 

Artisan bakery like methadone clinic for middle class people

AN artisan bakery is making middle class people behave as if it were dispensing a heroin-like substance.

Ride-on lawnmower still pinnacle of man's desire

A MAN has still not achieved his life’s goal of owning a ride-on lawnmower and a garden big enough to use it, he has confessed.

Woman refusing to concede that husband has cold

A WOMAN is refusing to accept that her husband has caught a cold in case he expects special treatment.

500,000 Game of Thrones fans sign petition demanding cuddle from mummy

HALF a million Game of Thrones fans have signed a petition demanding a special cuddle and an assurance that mummy loves them.

Colleges offer Level 5 NVQ in changing a duvet cover

COLLEGES keen to equip students with key life skills are introducing a National Vocational Qualification in putting a cover on a duvet.

Mum blows entire life savings at school fete

A MOTHER-of-two has spent every single penny she had in a single afternoon at the school’s summer fete.