A HIPSTER is claiming to have contracted the small-batch artisanal coronavirus strain COVID-18.
DRIVING yourself mad trying to get to sleep? Why suffer alone? Here’s how to broadcast your insomnia to whoever shares your bed.
BEFORE I leave Britain in the ultimate feminist act of telling my husband what to do, let’s celebrate International Women’s Day by being independent princesses.
A MAN who describes himself as a 'foodie' is nothing but a greedy twat, friends have confirmed.
DO you love self-righteously explaining to people how their life would be less of a mess if they made small changes every day? Share these tips with them.
A WOMAN who evangelises about apple cider vinegar on Facebook is suddenly more of a medical authority than your actual doctor.
MIDDLE-CLASS families have cleared the shelves of cerebral board games as the coronavirus panic continues.
A WOMAN is spending the whole weekend watching what friends and acquaintances are doing this weekend, via her phone.
A CAT has perfected the art of self-care by devoting every second of her energies and time towards herself.
HAS the coronavirus made everyone freak out and stockpile all the toilet paper from your local Asda? Here’s what to use instead.
A WOMAN who is constantly washing her hands due to the coronavirus is still driving around in a disgusting sh*t tip of a car.
A WOMAN is inviting people to a dinner party based on them not being annoying idiots who will mess up her menu plans.