News

Pack of cards only thing holding family holiday together

A PACK of cards is the only thing holding a family holiday together, it has been confirmed.

All films described as 'feel good' actually 'toss'

FILMS described as 'feel good' should be rebranded as 'toss', experts have confirmed.

Woman realises her 'posh' friends are just normal people who like olives

A WOMAN has been under the delusion she was friends with an upper middle-class couple only to discover they just like eating olives.

'Popping round' to be made a criminal offence

THE act of ‘popping round’ unannounced to someone’s house is to be reclassified as a crime with the possibility of a custodial sentence.

Mum suspects adorable two-year-old son will grow up into total w*nker

A MOTHER is increasingly convinced her cute toddler will grow up to be an insufferable tosspot as he reaches manhood.

The middle class guide to ruining a picnic

A PICNIC is the perfect meal: finger food with booze and hardly any washing up. But thankfully middle class people have found ways to complicate it. Here's how to ruin your next one.

Parents relieved as Peppa Pig release six-week long episode

PARENTS of young children on their summer holidays have welcomed a new episode of Peppa Pig that runs continuously for 42 days.

Films you'll drop everything to watch even though they're utter sh*t

IF you’re prepared to make yourself late for an appointment because you wanted to see the end of Bad Boys II, you may be familiar with the rest of this list.

Band's Wikipedia page obviously written by band

IT is extremely obvious that a band’s Wikipedia page was written by them, sources have confirmed. 

The Earth: is it flat or round? An unbiased BBC report

THE BBC is always at pains to present both sides of an argument. Here news editor Nathan Muir discusses the ongoing ‘round or flat Earth’ debate. 

Girlfriend flees scene after doing unflushable poo

A WOMAN has fled her new boyfriend’s house after doing an unflushable poo in his toilet.

Woman one item of clothing away from being fully dressed as a leopard

A WOMAN on a night out is one item of leopard print away from being confused with a jungle cat using its hind legs to walk.