Tuesday, 21st January 2020

'Perfect' girlfriend can't wait to hand out the red flags

A WOMAN described by her boyfriend ‘perfect’ cannot wait to hand out the red flags.

Boyfriend Tom Logan said: “She’s so amazing. How can she be so perfect? There has to be a catch. But no, apparently there isn’t.”

Girlfriend Sarah Thomson said: “Now that I’ve gained his trust and he thinks I’m lovely, I’m getting a bit impatient to show him how horrible I really am.

“I’m not sure if I should start off softly by telling him his friends suck, or if I should go all-in and immediately threaten him when he interacts with a woman.”

She added: “We’ve been together for six months now, so I really think it’s time to be myself and slowly crush him. What’s the point of a relationship if we can’t be sincere?”

The couple moved in together on Monday, and immediately had a fight about where they should put the fridge and about whether or not Logan was still talking with his female friend from university.