Science & Technology
Robots 'not thrilled' by idea of working in Sunderland
ROBOTS have asked if instead of Sunderland, Wakefield and Macclesfield they can work somewhere nice, like Bath.
Google Translate hasn’t got a f**king clue what to do with mother's passive aggressive texts
GOOGLE has admitted its translation service has no idea how to decipher a mother's tone in her latest series of messages.
Bridge to link France with airport on artificial island in the Thames
BORIS Johnson has unveiled plans to build a 140 mile bridge that will link Calais, central London and a new airport on a man-made island in the Thames estuary.
Today most depressing day of year, says scientist disgusted at what he’s become
TODAY is officially the most depressing day of the year, according to a scientist degrading himself by concocting media bullshit.
If these algorithms know me so well, how come they aren’t advertising Poundstretcher and Wetherspoons?
When will the sinister forces harvesting our data to create a complete picture of our lives understand what a cheap bastard I am?
MacBook security flaw threatens millions of bullshit creative projects
MILLIONS of half-completed screenplays, novels and travel memoirs could be destroyed if MacBooks are attacked, experts have warned.
Britain First's space division tells alien rock to go back to its own bloody solar system
THE space department of Britain First has told the alien rock known as Oumuamua to go back to its own bloody solar system.
People with lots of social media 'likes' really are much better than everyone else, confirm experts
PEOPLE who receive high numbers of likes on social media are provably better than those who do not, a study has confirmed.
92 per cent of English people think all Scottish people know each other
ALL Scottish people are either related or went to school together, according to the vast majority of English people.
People discovered who drink wine for its flavour
THERE are people who enjoy wine as something other than a means of getting wasted, it has been claimed.
Best way to fend off shark is to let it swallow you then punch your way out
THE best way to fend off a shark attack is from within the shark, it has been claimed.
Cool 'life hackers' actually just tight sods
SO-CALLED ‘life hacks’ are really just pointless tips for dull misers, it has emerged.