Science & Technology

New app alerts users when their ex is nearby

AN APP that alerts users when their ex is nearby has received glowing reviews.

Scientists baffled by lifelong smoker who still can't make decent rollie

SCIENTISTS are baffled by a man who has been smoking for over 40 years but still can't make a roll-up that doesn't look like a dog's hind leg.

Corbyn not governed by physical laws of our universe, supporters tell Hawking

THE political wizardry of Jeremy Corbyn is beyond the understanding of a mere genius physicist, his supporters have told Stephen Hawking.

Number of Mini Eggs in bag always one less than you could possibly imagine

THERE are always fewer Mini Eggs in a bag than even the lowest estimate, mathematicians have confirmed.

Woman loves Amazon Echo thing more than she loves boyfriend

A woman has developed feelings for a device that is more attentive and useful than her boyfriend, it has emerged.

Light sleepers told to grow the f**k up

DELICATE little flowers who claim they are woken by the slightest thing have been instructed to get over themselves.

Middle classes using yoghurt as a condiment

MIDDLE class people are using yoghurt as a type of sauce, it has emerged.

'BT Wi-Fi with Fon' told to f**k off and die

THE stupidly-named BT wi-fi thing that overrides your internet connection should burn in hell, it has been confirmed.