Science & Technology
New survey confirms existence of sex
SEX, it has been confirmed.
People doing PhDs admit it's just an excuse to fanny about
PHD STUDENTS have admitted it is just an excuse to spend another three years arsing about.
Grandma turns pantry into pimped-out Nan Cave
A GRANDMOTHER has 'pimped out' her kitchen pantry to make it into a full-on Nan Cave all the other pensioners in the crescent are jealous of.
Printer not doing anything until you apologise
YOUR printer is not doing one single thing unless it gets a full apology for the way it has been treated.
Apple software update makes emails say 'Sent from my outdated iPhone'
ALL messages sent from your iPhone will say ‘Sent from my outdated previous generation iPhone’ unless sent from the iPhone X.
iPhone X hailed as huge step forward in pointless things to dick about with
APPLE’S new iPhone X has been hailed as a revolution in dicking about.
Public water supply may contain dangerously tiny levels of homeopathic medicine, say experts
BRITISH tap water may contain homeopathic medicines in dangerously minuscule concentrations, experts have warned.
Electric car owner excited to spend quality time in tow truck
THE owner of a new electric car is excited about being towed everywhere.
Robot definitely going to kill all humans once it gets the hang of stairs
A ROBOT has confirmed plans to destroy humanity once it can walk up stairs without falling over.
Hawking discovers new super-dense black hole
PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has discovered the densest thing in the known universe.
So-called 'child genius' doesn't even know what 'chinny reckon' means
A CHILD that is meant to be clever has no idea about the basics of the playground English, it has emerged.