Science & Technology
A MAN is absolutely outraged at the pathetic size and technological backwardness of his friend’s television.
ANGRY people who scrawl offensive filth on the walls of public toilets can now make their messages twice as long.
THE iPhone X shatters on contact with any solid object because it is too good for our material plane, Apple has explained.
A MOTHER has announced the discovery of age-related imperfections on her 33-year-old daughter’s face.
A MAN has been woken in the middle of the night by a friend’s urgent text about maybe having a pint.
A NORTH Face coat designed for the most extreme weather conditions on Earth has resigned itself to being used as a fancy duvet on the high street.
A LITTLE-KNOWN planet has approached David Attenborough to make a documentary about it.
GOING home is considerably better than going big, experts have confirmed.
THE Bloodhound rocket car capable of reaching 1,000mph is being tailgated by a man in a BMW 7 series, observers have confirmed.
FOUR pints is the best amount of beer to drink, experts have confirmed.
NONE of the 37 people who reviewed a laptop online had the first idea what they were talking about, a man has discovered.
BEING around children makes you feel less drunk, it has been confirmed.