Science & Technology
Airport worker almost forgets to add the chemtrails
A MAN who refuels commercial jets has admitted he almost forgot to add the mind controlling chemicals.
Twitter storm of f**k all interest to any normal person enters sixth day
A ROW about an obscure thing normal people do not care about has been raging in the Twittersphere for almost a week.
Giving kids screen time less harmful than putting up with their shit, agree parents
PARENTS have agreed that giving children screen time is less harmful than having to interact with them.
Uncle test-flying nephew's Christmas present in deep shit
AN uncle who gave his nephew’s Christmas drone a sneaky test flight is worried he might not get it back without complications.
Allowing random twats to own small, unlicensed flying machines 'obviously insane'
PRIVATELY operated drones are a clear sign that society has lost its mind, experts have confirmed.
The best places to make an obnoxious hands-free call
DO you love shouting inanely into thin air while doing your supermarket shop? Here are some other great places to 'multitask' in annoyingly.
If you hold in a burp it turns into a fart, confirm eight year-old research scientists
HOLDING in a burp will result in flatulence, according to Britain's leading eight year-old scientists.
So-called 'women's cars' have no female genitalia, discover experts
VEHICLES described by men as 'women's cars' do not have breasts or a vagina, experts have discovered.
Dipping headlights is for losers, claims git
A MAN who does not dip his headlights thinks he is a master of the universe rather than the worst person the world, it has been confirmed.
Maths impossible
MATHS is far too hard, experts have confirmed.
Man confuses young people by saying he 'taped' a TV show
A MAN has confused his younger co-workers by explaining he had ‘taped’ a TV show to watch later.
Contactless payment leaves bus drivers searching for new ways to be arseholes
BUS drivers have confirmed that the advent of contactless payment means they are frantically brainstorming new ways to be total arseholes.
- Son close to murdering mum and dad with six remotes and no idea what they do
- Woman unable to write friendly email without shitload of exclamation marks
- Research confirms link between blob of ice cream on floor and child losing its shit
- Phone not left to charge overnight going to be a real prick all day now