Science & Technology
Going home much better than going big, experts confirm
GOING home is considerably better than going big, experts have confirmed.
BMW driver trying to overtake supersonic car
THE Bloodhound rocket car capable of reaching 1,000mph is being tailgated by a man in a BMW 7 series, observers have confirmed.
Scientists confirm four pints is best amount of beer
FOUR pints is the best amount of beer to drink, experts have confirmed.
Everyone who reviewed product online was talking bollocks
NONE of the 37 people who reviewed a laptop online had the first idea what they were talking about, a man has discovered.
Children 'cancel out' effects of alcohol
BEING around children makes you feel less drunk, it has been confirmed.
Brexit definitely going to happen, says Michael Fish
FORMER TV weatherman Michael Fish has confirmed that Brexit is going well and will definitely happen.
Women forced to attend thermostat awareness course
WOMEN across the UK are being forced to attend a one-day thermostat awareness course to learn how they work.
Man realises all the women in his life would have been condemned as witches 500 years ago
A MAN has realised the women in his life would once have been considered witches due to their belief in herbs, the power of cats and having a ‘sixth sense’ about things.
Rudd can’t understand why internet won’t do as it’s told
THE home secretary has admitted she cannot see why the man who runs the internet will not just delete all the bits she finds offensive.
I still buy DVDs, says idiot caveman
A HALF-WITTED Neanderthal who still somehow walks among us has been exposed by admitting that when he wants to see a film, he buys it on DVD.
100 per cent of supermarket chicken looks terrifying
ALL chicken sold in supermarkets looks monstrous and evil, it has emerged.
New survey confirms existence of sex
SEX, it has been confirmed.