Science & Technology
ANYONE who describes themselves as an 'Instagrammer' is a step back in human evolution, scientists have claimed.
A SUPERHERO has realised that from now on he should probably use his most powerful move a lot earlier.
THE 25-year experiment that is the internet has proved to be a dreadful mistake for everyone involved and will be deleted as soon as possible.
FACEBOOK should introduce a button allowing you to send vile abuse and bloodcurdling threats to people automatically, internet users believe.
RACISTS have argued that the black Britons from the Mesolithic period changed to be white because it is better, and more should follow their example.
AN entire household was thrown into utter panic when their landline rang during an episode of Eastenders.
ROBOTS have asked if instead of Sunderland, Wakefield and Macclesfield they can work somewhere nice, like Bath.
GOOGLE has admitted its translation service has no idea how to decipher a mother's tone in her latest series of messages.
BORIS Johnson has unveiled plans to build a 140 mile bridge that will link Calais, central London and a new airport on a man-made island in the Thames estuary.
TODAY is officially the most depressing day of the year, according to a scientist degrading himself by concocting media bullshit.
If these algorithms know me so well, how come they aren’t advertising Poundstretcher and Wetherspoons?
When will the sinister forces harvesting our data to create a complete picture of our lives understand what a cheap bastard I am?
- MacBook security flaw threatens millions of bullshit creative projects
- Britain First's space division tells alien rock to go back to its own bloody solar system
- People with lots of social media 'likes' really are much better than everyone else, confirm experts
- 92 per cent of English people think all Scottish people know each other