Science & Technology

Robots enjoying May-Hammond rapport

BRITAIN’S robots are enjoying the hilarious and heartwarming TV appearances of Theresa May and Philip Hammond, they have revealed.

Vegan scientists discover second topic of conversation 


VEGAN scientists have announced the discovery of something else they can talk about apart from their veganism.

Relief as dads take charge of UK's cybersecurity

BRITAIN’S technologically challenged fathers believe they are dealing with the threat of more cyber-attacks.

Computers confirmed as a lot of bollocks

COMPUTERS are a pointless load of bollocks, it has been confirmed.

Private electricity makes your telly work better, claim Tories

THE Conservatives have claimed that without private electricity, Britain’s flatscreen televisions would still be showing the test card.

Missing sock mysteriously returns after three-year absence

A SOCK, missing for three years, has unaccountably returned to the wardrobe from which it vanished.

Every Whatsapp group contains someone desperate to escape it

EVERY Whatsapp group chat contains at least one person who dreams of escaping it, researchers have found.

New app shows Londoners what it would be like to own a house

A NEW smartphone app simulating the experience of home ownership in London is wildly popular among young people.

UK could have driverless government by 2020, say experts

TECH experts have confirmed that the UK could have a driverless government as soon as 2020.

Mathematical equations still best way to sell shampoo

COMPLICATED mathematical equations requiring viewers to work out how many people equal 78 per cent of 237 remain the best way to sell shampoo, say experts.

Sir Tim Berners-Lee apologises for inventing the internet

THE inventor of the internet has apologised because it is such a load of bollocks.

Scientists confirm we are all living in Ed Sheeran's dream

OUR reality is just a dream in the mind of sleeping Ed Sheeran, it has been confirmed.