Science & Technology
PEOPLE whose tap water is going to burst into flames will be given a share of a biological warfare suit, the prime minister has confirmed.
ONE-THIRD of UK internet users have taken a break from the internet to remember how boring and inconvenient life used to be.
A BABY girl named Eevee after a Pokemon Go character will do incredibly well in life, scientists believe.
THE gap between those who buy expensive packs of pre-sliced fruit and normal people is wider than previously thought, experts have found.
BEER has reached a level of insane deliciousness, it has been confirmed.
A MAN has remained unconcerned throughout Brexit, the collapse of the Labour party, and a wave of celebrity deaths because he is wearing enormous headphones.
WOMEN over 30 are increasingly aware their biological Facebook clock is ticking so they best get married and have kids while it is fashionable.
A MAN whose GPS sports watch automatically uploads his run times to Facebook has claimed he didn’t know it was happening.
BRITISH astronaut Tim Peake is excitably asking if everyone saw him when he was in space because that is where he was.
A POP psychology book claiming to explain intelligence has not been bought by anyone intelligent, it has emerged.
COMBINING human and pig DNA could create a species that wants to turn itself into sandwiches, scientists have warned.
EXPERTS have confirmed that taking a highlighter to 150 straight pages of a textbook is guaranteed to make you pass your exams.