Science & Technology
A MAN has remained unconcerned throughout Brexit, the collapse of the Labour party, and a wave of celebrity deaths because he is wearing enormous headphones.
WOMEN over 30 are increasingly aware their biological Facebook clock is ticking so they best get married and have kids while it is fashionable.
A MAN whose GPS sports watch automatically uploads his run times to Facebook has claimed he didn’t know it was happening.
BRITISH astronaut Tim Peake is excitably asking if everyone saw him when he was in space because that is where he was.
A POP psychology book claiming to explain intelligence has not been bought by anyone intelligent, it has emerged.
COMBINING human and pig DNA could create a species that wants to turn itself into sandwiches, scientists have warned.
EXPERTS have confirmed that taking a highlighter to 150 straight pages of a textbook is guaranteed to make you pass your exams.
A POLAR research vessel has admitted it is both disappointed and angry to not be called Boaty McBoatface.
THE government has decided that rural homes do not want broadband internet, electricity, water, sewerage or use of the road network.
THE discovery that the ginger gene contains the secret of youthful looks has united the world in rejection of this Faustian bargain.
BRITAIN is facing an epidemic of people hitting themselves in the face with their phones while lying in bed each morning.
SPACE is so incredibly boring, Tim Peake has confirmed.