Science & Technology
LEAVING the EU will give all Britons the power to turn invisible and the strength to lift a car with one hand, according to a government report.
OVER £100,000 has already been raised to strap Nigel Farage to a rocket bound for the centre of the sun.
A MAN has tried to explain the concept of streaming music and TV over the internet to his relatives nine times so far this Christmas.
DAVID Attenborough has documented all aspects of our planet and is building a new one, it has been confirmed.
SAUSAGES are far better than burgers, experts have confirmed.
MICK Jagger is responsible for 20 percent of all human births, say researchers.
A WORKER is insisting his colleagues use some annoying file-sharing app he has found, it has emerged.
PRESSING ‘alt-right’ on a computer keyboard makes a picture of a burning cross appear, it has emerged.
A PUB’S outdoor heater is only effective if you are standing within a half of centimetre of it, it has emerged.
OUR reality is just a dream in the mind of a nan who doesn’t like foreigners, it has been claimed.
THE public has hit out at the normal moon for its lack of effort after being wowed by the 'supermoon'.
ONCE-COOKED chips are perfectly fine, it has been confirmed.