Science & Technology

The elderly parents' guide to computers

ARE you quite old and find computers baffling and terrifying? Don’t worry - our guide will tell you everything you need to know.

Smashed phone screens join official list of things that are cool

ROCKING a phone with a cobweb-smashed touchscreen is officially cool, according to experts.

GDPR emails told to chill the f**k out

DESPERATE GDPR emails telling people ‘their time is up’ and ‘they must take action now’ have been told to calm the fuck down.

Staring into empty fridge does not make food appear, scientists confirm

YOU cannot restock a fridge by staring blankly into it for several minutes, it has been confirmed.

Mum sending message via WhatsApp, Viber, Facebook, text and email perfectly aware they all go to same device

A MUM sending the same message via five different platforms is perfectly aware that they all goes to her daughter’s one phone, she has confirmed.

Scientists unlock the secrets of cat swearing

CATS have a complex system of cat swear words, researchers have discovered.

Personal data is bollocks because you're all liars or idiots, confirm internet companies

THE personal data collected over the internet is all bollocks, it has finally been admitted.

You’re not having any more phones, clumsy little bastards told

CHILDREN who keep losing their phones will have to make do with traditional communication methods such as letters, parents have decided.