Science & Technology

Biggest threat to communities 'is Facebook community groups'

MILLIONS of Britons are living in fear of their neighbours after finding out how fucking weird they are on community Facebook groups.

Airport worker almost forgets to add the chemtrails

A MAN who refuels commercial jets has admitted he almost forgot to add the mind controlling chemicals.

Twitter storm of f**k all interest to any normal person enters sixth day

A ROW about an obscure thing normal people do not care about has been raging in the Twittersphere for almost a week.

Giving kids screen time less harmful than putting up with their shit, agree parents

PARENTS have agreed that giving children screen time is less harmful than having to interact with them.

Uncle test-flying nephew's Christmas present in deep shit

AN uncle who gave his nephew’s Christmas drone a sneaky test flight is worried he might not get it back without complications.

Allowing random twats to own small, unlicensed flying machines 'obviously insane'

PRIVATELY operated drones are a clear sign that society has lost its mind, experts have confirmed.

The best places to make an obnoxious hands-free call

DO you love shouting inanely into thin air while doing your supermarket shop? Here are some other great places to 'multitask' in annoyingly.  

If you hold in a burp it turns into a fart, confirm eight year-old research scientists

HOLDING in a burp will result in flatulence, according to Britain's leading eight year-old scientists.

So-called 'women's cars' have no female genitalia, discover experts

VEHICLES described by men as 'women's cars' do not have breasts or a vagina, experts have discovered.

Dipping headlights is for losers, claims git

A MAN who does not dip his headlights thinks he is a master of the universe rather than the worst person the world, it has been confirmed.

Maths impossible

MATHS is far too hard, experts have confirmed.

Man confuses young people by saying he 'taped' a TV show

A MAN has confused his younger co-workers by explaining he had ‘taped’ a TV show to watch later.