Science & Technology

Man on hold for 20 minutes locked into high-stakes game of chicken

A MAN who has been on hold for 20 minutes knows he has no choice now but to see the call through to the bitter end.

LinkedIn drops professional networking to focus on hook-ups

LINKEDIN has dropped all pretence of being a business networking app and now focuses on no-strings workplace sex, it has confirmed.

How to make a twat of yourself with email and texts

EMAIL and texting are now part of everyday life, but it’s still possible to make an arse of yourself. Here are some of the best techniques.

Just please let me install these f**king updates, begs computer

A MAN’S laptop has begged to be allowed to install softwares updates after being denied for a 153rd consecutive day.

Vaping carries long-term risk of vaporisation

USERS of vapour cigarettes have a significant chance of being vaporised themselves, research has shown.

Relaxation app needs to chill the f**k out

A SMARTPHONE relaxation app really needs to take a f**king chill pill, users have confirmed.

Time speeds up while kids are at school

PHYSICISTS have observed that time passes four times as fast in family homes when children are safely away at school.

Man tries to fix wi-fi connection by doing same thing 4,000 times

A MAN who has lost the internet connection in his house is convinced he can solve the problem by repeatedly connecting and disconnecting things.

Are you looking at your phone enough first thing in the morning?

YOU wake up, you turn your alarm off and you spend a solid 10 minutes staring at your phone screen, just like you did before you went to sleep. But are you doing it enough?

How are you using your phone to ruin nights out?

OVERUSING your phone can ruin an evening, unless all your mates are tw*ts who only want to obsessively check their emails too. Here’s how make a sociable night totally pointless.

Man creates another very strong password he will never remember

A MAN has created a unique password that no hacker, bot or even he himself will ever be able to guess.

Man quits job to keep up with LinkedIn notifications

A MAN has left his full-time job to spend his nine-to-five working week trying to get ahead of his LinkedIn notifications.