Science & Technology

Old computers sad you don't love them anymore

OLD laptops are devastated by their fickle owners suddenly preferring their new computer, they have revealed.

What if you are actually a robot? Take this quick test...

IT might seem like an easy enough question, but what if you were to just lie? So with that terrifying thought in mind let's see if you really are a robot or not...

Don't worry, time is just an illusion, says May

THERESA May has explained that time is merely an illusion and an infinity of moments stretch between now and March 29th, so no problem.

Man who rejects global warming firmly believes Star Wars will come true

A MAN who rejects the evidence for global warming does believe that a Death Star will one day be built in space.

Scientists pledge to deliver zombie apocalypse by March 29th

SCIENTISTS have vowed to 'step up' amid harsh criticism over their complete failure to bring about a zombie apocalypse.  

Man relives most terrifying experience of his life after losing phone for 35 seconds

A MAN who could not find his mobile phone for a harrowing less than a minute has described his ordeal for the first time.

Man discovers six-foot long fatberg in bathroom mirror

A MAN has discovered a six-foot long fatberg staring back at him in the mirror.

Scientists discover beer tastes 97 per cent better on a train

BEER tastes incredible if you drink it on a train, it has emerged.

Woman believes 83 Facebook friends actually give a toss about her birthday

A WOMAN has convinced herself that all the 83 friends who wished her a happy birthday on Facebook really mean it.  

Horrifically tedious WhatsApp group rises from the dead

A WHATSAPP group has come back from the dead, spreading fear and nausea among 17 people.

Last person who isn't a recruitment tosser leaves LinkedIn

THE last person with a normal job has finally given up on the social network LinkedIn, it has emerged.

Your parents may have heard you say 'oh f**k, not them' on FaceTime

APPLE has emailed millions of customers to warn that their parents have heard them say ‘oh fuck, not them again’ over FaceTime.