Science & Technology

Widdecombe to cure gay people using magnets

ANN Widdecombe has confirmed that homosexuality could be reversed with powerful magnets.

Science less than a decade away from fully operational printer

SCIENTISTS will soon develop a home copying machine that is not an absolute pain in the arse, it has been claimed.

Johnson 'proof that we are all just sentient jizz' say experts

TORY leadership candiate Boris Johnson is a powerful reminder that when it comes down to it humans are just overgrown sperm, scientists have confirmed.

Cunning robot ticks 'I'm not a robot' box

A CUNNING robot has outsmarted the Internet by claiming that ‘it is not a robot’ whenever it is asked.

Facebook's 'People you may know' to be renamed 'People you don't like'

FACEBOOK is changing its ‘People you may know’ feature to ‘People you don’t like’, the company has announced.

How you pronounce Huawei and what it says about you

HUAWEI is the Chinese telecoms company suspected of spying on other countries. But how do you pronounce its name?

Has the internet turned you into a weirdo?

THE internet has made all sorts of strange behaviour normal, but has it turned you into a creepy online weirdo too? Take our test and find out.

Woman asks for sample of sperm donor's grammar

A WOMAN using a sperm bank to conceive wants potential donors to provide a grammar sample.

Research on childrens' screen time funded by shady wooden-toy conglomerates

RESEARCH recommending limiting childrens’ screen time is paid for by manufacturers of traditional wooden rocking horses and pull-along ducks, it has emerged.

Woman with Huawei phone kicked out of WhatsApp group

A WOMAN with a Huawei P30 phone has been kicked out of her friends’ WhatsApp group as a possible security risk.

Period-tracking app lets boyfriend know when he will be a selfish arsehole

AN APP which tracks his partner’s menstrual cycle is helping a man predict when he will be an insensitive dick who thinks only of himself.

People who post 'going' on Facebook events then don't to face prison

PEOPLE who claim they are going to Facebook events then do not are scum who should face stiff penalties, it has been decided.