Phones basically all the same these days, admits Apple

APPLE has launched three new smartphones with the message that they are pretty similar to all the other ones.

The iPhone XR, XS, and XS Max offer few new features, nothing in the way of eye-catching new technology and a number of upgrades no one is excited about.

Marketing vice-president Phil Schiller said: “Ten years ago, I would’ve been unveiling tech that would have blown your fucking minds. Now? Meh.

“Phones used to be exciting, like the first cars. Everyone would’ve been like, ‘The new Ford has doors! It can go 25 miles on a single tank of gas! You don’t have to hand-crank it!’

“Now there’s no difference, and hasn’t been for decades. We’re actually thinking of giving our phones an interesting new smell as a marketing strategy. Maybe sprouts.”

Apple fan Joseph Turner said: “I’ll queue up for a new iPhone but to be honest it’s just to get out of the house.”